Oprah Winfrey is big. We’re not talking physically big here. That’s a given.

We’re talking about an ego so freakin’ enormous that it operates like a gargantuan black hole, physically and spiritually swallowing up everything in sight – man, woman, child, baby back ribs, U.S. First Ladies – you name it.

Well, just when we thought that we understood the awesome light and matter-consuming force that is Oprah, she goes and does something completely uncharacteristic of someone whose personal fortune was not built on prattling on and on about Oprah. Turns out, Oprah has ushered in a brave new world where people other than Oprah are seen on the cover of Oprah’s magazine, O (for Oprah).

Just when you thought Kevin Costner couldn’t get any less interesting, comes news that he and his second wife Christine Baumgartner have again genetically replicated themselves.

The pressures of being a celebrity are enormous—we understand that. Take Christian Bale for instance.

How can any thespian be expected to respond in a reasonable way when faced with the choking, all-consuming pressure that comes from having to play characters that either dress up as bats or battle evil futuristic robots?