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Matthew Laidlow

MySpace Trawl – Errors

by Matthew Laidlow

You may be mistaken to think that Errors is actually a discussion topic for a six-hour Jeremy Kyle show special. Via the use of webcams for guests and a few members of the audience who aren’t quite all there, it very well could be the TV programme of all TV programmes that would cause everyone to simultaneously smash their televisions sets.

Thankfully though, ITV isn’t quite ready to unleash that beast. For the meantime, we’ll just have to do with people who lie about weight loss, repeats of DIY shows and that smug ginger chef who would spit on you if offered a piece of cheese on toast from your own oven. Errors are, in fact, another quality band to come out of Glasgow.

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Elbow Win The Mercury Prize And Arse Up Our Prediction

by Matthew Laidlow

Well, just be glad you don’t come running to us for advice and guidance on the more trivial matters in life.

If you asked us the best way to meet a girl and maintain it in to a relationship, we may just say something inappropriate like “get her drunk first”. So it may be a good thing our decisions aren’t always right. Last night saw Elbow win the Mercury Music Prize for their fourth album The Seldom Seen Kid.

While we put £10 on Burial to win, he failed to turn up to the event to perform. This probably didn’t do him any favours but who knows and who cares. But fair play to him really, he wants to remain anonymous and not deal with being stalked by NME journalists. At least the award didn’t go to the Last Shadow Puppets who already have a winning connection to the Arctic Monkeys. Looking slightly pissed on stage, Elbow frontman Guy Garvey said “it was the best thing to have ever happened to us”. Aww, they are a cracking band who do deserve some fame. We even harped on about them needing a break in a recent gig review.

Now, that’s 2008 out of the way. Who will be up for the 2009 award? With upcoming releases from Kaiser Chiefs, Razorlight, Keane and Snow Patrol, it could be a bland indie-filled ceremony next year. Though we’ll see if our recordings of smashed cups, sawed logs and imitations of badgers will pick up a nomination. Against frontmen who make twigs look fat and poor moonfaced posh boys, we should do OK. Well, in our minds anyway.

Well, just be glad you don’t come running to us for advice and guidance on the more trivial matters in life. If you asked us the best way to meet a girl and maintain it in to a relationship, we may just say something inappropriate like “get her drunk first”. So it may be a good thing our decisions aren’t always right. Last night saw Elbow win the Mercury Music Prize for their fourth album The Seldom Seen Kid. While we put £10 on Burial to win, he failed to turn up to the event to perform. This probably didn’t do him any favours but who knows and who cares. But fair play to him really, he wants to remain anonymous and not deal with being stalked by NME journalists. At least the award didn’t go to the Last Shadow Puppets who already have a winning connection to the Arctic Monkeys. Looking slightly pissed on stage, Elbow frontman Guy Garvey said “it was the best thing to have ever happened to us”. Aww, they are a cracking band who do deserve some fame. We even harped on about them needing a break in a recent gig review. Now, that’s 2008 out of the way. Who will be up for the 2009 award? With upcoming releases from Kaiser Chiefs, Razorlight, Keane and Snow Patrol, it could be a bland indie-filled ceremony next year. Though we’ll see if our recordings of smashed cups, sawed logs and imitations of badgers will pick up a nomination. Against frontmen who make twigs look fat and poor moonfaced posh boys, we should do OK. Well, in our minds anyway.
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Noel Gallagher Goes Down Quicker Than Amir Khan

by Matthew Laidlow

Bam! Biff! Boosh! Kablam! These are some of the sounds that all boxers experience when they are in the ring and go through the procedure of splattering someone’s brain across the ring. Or, if you’re Mike Tyson, an opponent’s ear. On Saturday Amir Khan went down in an impressive 54 seconds thanks to Breidis Prescott [...]

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Mercury Music Prize 2008: The Nominees, Part Two

by Matthew Laidlow

Ooh, can you feel the nerves building yet? The Mercury Music Prize takes place tonight – the nation’s foremost music prize where the judges will pick a winner based on how cool it’ll make them look rather than actual quality of music.

Yesterday, we looked at the first half of nominees, including the wonky-dancing Estelle and the brilliantly bonkers British Sea Power. With another six albums to pick from, we’re glad that the job hasn’t been given to us to pick a winner. We’d just get in a flap and end up throwing a dart at the various records. That is how the Pope is picked isn’t it? Anyways, here are the rest of the nominations for this year’s prize…

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Mercury Music Prize 2008: The Nominees, Part One

by Matthew Laidlow

Over the last twelve moths, thousands of albums have been released. The majority of them are crap, but still somehow seem to get airplay and a clump of fans.

The Mercury Music prize, however, aims to honour the best British album released over the last year – the one crafted so well that John Lennon is itching in his coffin to try and claim credit for it.

This prize isn’t like your typical Smash Hits or Brit nomination. It challenges your perception of music and doesn’t necessarily nominate the most popular bands. From dubstep to electronics, there is something that will hopefully please the music fan who looks a little deeper then the same ten bands featured in Q magazine. Hold on tight as we go in for a deeper look at this year’s nominations, with the rest to come tomorrow.

Over the last twelve moths, thousands of albums have been released. The majority of them are crap, but still somehow seem to get airplay and a clump of fans. The Mercury Music prize, however, aims to honour the best British album released over the last year - the one crafted so well that John Lennon is itching in his coffin to try and claim credit for it. This prize isn’t like your typical Smash Hits or Brit nomination. It challenges your perception of music and doesn’t necessarily nominate the most popular bands. From dubstep to electronics, there is something that will hopefully please the music fan who looks a little deeper then the same ten bands featured in Q magazine. Hold on tight as we go in for a deeper look at this year's nominations, with the rest to come tomorrow.
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MySpace Trawl – Modernaire

by Matthew Laidlow

Remember when you were young and your grandparents often dragged you away to show you something that you weren’t meant to see?

You know, like introducing you to a can of lager in the dusty shed and encouraging you to knock it back? Though sometimes they did just bore you to death about something they thought you’d be interested in.

What we’re poorly trying to get at is that some things are best discovered by other people. This is what happened to us with Modernaire. When we battled our way through the trendy crowd at a Tings Tings gig, they were the first band on. Support bands are either going to send people to the bar or keep you watching. Thankfully this lot kept our attention.

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Look! It’s Phil Collins Getting Beat Up By The Ultimate Warrior

by Matthew Laidlow

Umm… we aren’t sure whether to be scared by this video, or to laugh until we cough up an internal organ.

The title says it all – it’s everyone’s favourite slaphead and chocolate monkey drummer getting beaten to a pulp by an old wrestler who looks like he may have overdone the steroids and/or children’s face paint.

It really is as simple as that. We don’t know where this clip has come from or why it has been made. But we can proudly say that it will be the best three minutes and seven seconds that you’ll ever waste watching pointless internet nuggets. If you can explain this to us, please do so. Smoke is starting to come from our brains. God damn that pesky Phil Collins.

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ITV Launches CelebAir – Minus The Celebrities

by Matthew Laidlow

With Big Brother finishing this week, you’d think we’d be free of reality TV for a while.

Well you can take that assumption and shove it down the toilet. Various broadcasters have given the green light to more of them than ever. X Factor contains more sob stories and wobbly contestants then ever before and Strictly Come Dancing has returned – sadly with no variation. Surely everyone agrees with us when we say Strictly Come Dancing On Broken Glass And Stinging Nettles would have generated more interest?

Not content with having one reality show on their network, ITV has decided to launch a brand new show on the less popular ITV2 channel. CelebAir sees eleven celebrities staffing a real plane as it flies genuine people on holiday. Now, we realise that airplane security has been strict lately, but surely this is an act of terrorism in the making.

With Big Brother finishing this week, you’d think we’d be free of reality TV for a while. Well you can take that assumption and shove it down the toilet. Various broadcasters have given the green light to more of them than ever. X Factor contains more sob stories and wobbly contestants then ever before and Strictly Come Dancing has returned - sadly with no variation. Surely everyone agrees with us when we say Strictly Come Dancing On Broken Glass And Stinging Nettles would have generated more interest? Not content with having one reality show on their network, ITV has decided to launch a brand new show on the less popular ITV2 channel. CelebAir sees eleven celebrities staffing a real plane as it flies genuine people on holiday. Now, we realise that airplane security has been strict lately, but surely this is an act of terrorism in the making.
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MySpace Trawl – Razmataz Lorry Excitement

by Matthew Laidlow

It’s ace having quality bands and solo artists on your doorstep. Before they break through onto the national scene, you’re guaranteed to catch them playing a gig in and around various cities close to you.

In a slightly personalised trawl this week, it’s time to expose you in to one such artist who has a strong reputation in the live Newcastle/Sunderland music scene.

Already tagged as a UK equivalent to LCD Soundsystem, Razmataz Lorry Excitement aka Kevin Dosdale serves up electro with soul that carries punk elements and doesn’t have an electronic boys and girls sound. Another plus point is the use of back-to-basics hardware in live performances and the creation of actual tracks. In an age where bedroom producers rely on software, it is refreshing to see someone actually work like a loon behind stacks of samplers and other music-making toys that’ll boggle your mind.

It's ace having quality bands and solo artists on your doorstep. Before they break through onto the national scene, you’re guaranteed to catch them playing a gig in and around various cities close to you. In a slightly personalised trawl this week, it’s time to expose you in to one such artist who has a strong reputation in the live Newcastle/Sunderland music scene. Already tagged as a UK equivalent to LCD Soundsystem, Razmataz Lorry Excitement aka Kevin Dosdale serves up electro with soul that carries punk elements and doesn’t have an electronic boys and girls sound. Another plus point is the use of back-to-basics hardware in live performances and the creation of actual tracks. In an age where bedroom producers rely on software, it is refreshing to see someone actually work like a loon behind stacks of samplers and other music-making toys that'll boggle your mind.
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Hari Puttar Not Coming Your Way If Warner Bros Has Its Say

by Matthew Laidlow

Over the years, there have been thousands of rubbish fan versions of Harry Potter as they try to plug the void until JK Rowling scribbles another book.

The amusing for five seconds Harry Pothead series was a hit with morons everywhere, and recently an independent encyclopedia detailing all the characters, spells and abuse suffered by pupils from Dumbledore was due for release.

So imagine Warner Brothers’ delight when it found out about an up and coming film called Hari Puttar. Their lawyers cast some magic spells immediately to stop the film being released.

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