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Lindsay Lohan stepped out on the red carpet this week looking as young, sexy and stylish as ever. Wait, we mean the exact opposite of that.
The o/b/v/i/o/u/s/c/r/a/c/k/a/d/d/i/c/t starlet was papped at the amfAR New York Gala yesterday sporting tobacco-stained hair, meth teeth and accessorised her hot new look with a Grinch-skin coat and a vacant stare.
Want a look? You brave crusader, you. Just click the jump.
Professional playground-trawler Caroline Flack has once again been spotted tongue wrestling with a foetus; this time, 23-year-old singer Sam McCarthy.
Despite take every precaution not to be spotted, eg. Standing in a public street outside a pub, the ‘couple’ were papped fondling each other outside the Crown & Goose pub in Camden.
While we’re happy to admit that at 32, she’s hardly Saturday night TVs answer to J. Howard Marshall, we can’t help but think there’s something wrong with a woman who constantly preys men with personalities as underdeveloped as their testicles.
Karl Lagerfeld has the feminists and fat chicks bunching their panties in disgust over his latest outburst.
Remember. This is an outburst from an old man who works in the fashion industry.
We don’t know what magic mirror Lagerfeld is looking into, but despite looking like an anorexic-shell-less-tortoise/panda hybrid, Lagerfeld takes it upon himself to be the aesthetic judge of the universe. And this time, he’s decided to pass judgement on Adele. You can see where this is going can’t you?
Though famous for making excellent life choices, Rihanna has made one more – by getting a set of hideous tattoos. Most female celebrity tattoos look like they were purchased with a Groupon voucher and inked by Micheal J Fox post-Parkinson’s. Rihanna’s are no exception.
The never-knowingly-dressed starlet has got the words ‘Thug Life’ inked on her knuckles, and something so wonderfully secret that she’s yet to tweet a photo on her back.
Yes, you read that right. Thug. Life. Life must be really tough in that multi-million dollar ghetto she’s living in. We heard that just the other day the barista accidentally gave her the wrong sort of soya milk in her dickheaduccino. So she had him drive-by’ed (we possibly made this up).
Jim Carey’s daughter Jane Carrey revealed on American Idol how she’s spent the past 24 years living in the lap of luxury, and riding golden ponies, all paid for by daddy’s money. Wait: we mean the exact opposite of that…
“He’s definitely not the most extravagant celebrity,” the daughter of rubber-faced comic Jim Carrey told American Idol viewers, adding that she’s a single mother whose been waiting tables for the last six years.
Ummm… what? There’s a difference between not being ‘extravagant’ and letting your daughter clean-up other people’s gobbed-out food for minimum wage.
Runaway bride Simon Cowell has broken off another relationship, this time to his makeup artist Mezhgan Husaiany.
“It’s quite a complicated relationship. We have had a break from each other, and we are still incredibly close,” Cowell told The Sunday Mirror. “I’m vulnerable. It’s not on, it’s not off, it’s somewhere in the middle. I don’t know if I will ever get married, but I am happy.”
You know how painful it is when you drop an M&M and it rolls under the sofa, and is juuussstttttt out of your reach? Welcome to Mezghan Husaiany’s life.
Just when we thought that 2012 was getting off to a rocking start, what with us discovering there was one less Kardashian in the world and all, Heidi Klum and Seal have to shit on our parade by announcing they are getting a divorce.
The golden couple, who must have Hitler spinning in his grave, are filing for divorce after six years of marriage, citing ‘irreconcilable differences’.
Heidi Klum is a human contradiction – by all rights, she should be a mega bitch, but no-one seems to have passed on the memo that if you’re a towering German supermodel worth over £20million, you’re TOTALLY within your rights to act like the biggest douche in the world.
Eighties child-star Corey Feldman has revealed his plans to release a tell-all book naming and shaming two Hollywood pervs.
The-famous-Corey-that-isn’t-dead made similar allegations last August that he was targeted by predatory men from age 14. However, rather than take these claims to the police, he seems to have walked passed the station, right to a publisher.
This is Hollywood after all.
