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Josh Burt

Famous People Who Would NEVER Cheat On You

by Josh Burt

The main problem with famous people is that they have such trouble keeping their underpants on. Everyone’s at it these days. It’s all sex here, sex over there, more sex here again. Do an interview, have a bit of sex. Sing a song, then have sex. Go to an awards show, have sex with someone [...]

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Amazing Academy Awards Predictions REVEALED!

by Josh Burt

For anyone who doesn’t already know – perhaps you’re too cool, too busy, or too strung out to really care – it’s the 419th Academy Awards this weekend. Yeah, we’re pretty excited. All the stars will be on the red carpet, with their dresses and their lovely suits, and once inside that swishy auditorium, it’ll [...]

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The Most TERRIFYING Celebrity Feuds Revealed!

by Josh Burt

Right, everyone needs to calm down. CALM DOWN! JUST RELAX! Breathe. That’s it. Breathe. Relax your mind, calm your addled nerves with a nice green tea or a cuddle with a bosomy fat person. Feeling better? Good. Now, try and maintain your calm, because it’s important. Otherwise this whole Liam Gallagher versus Peter Kay thing [...]

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The Five Greatest Romantic Comedies, Actually

by Josh Burt

Ahh, Valentine’s Day. It’s not far off now. You’ll see them, sitting there on tables for two, staring blankly over one another’s shoulder, wondering whether to pop the question to ease the crippling silence. Then they’ll get married. He’ll do a speech about how wonderful she looks today, without once mustering the desire to so [...]

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Madonna’s Next Lover – Candidates Revealed!

by Josh Burt

Hey man, don’t sit around feeling all sorry for Madonna because she hasn’t got a boyfriend. That would be a massive waste of time. Instead, peruse the list of potential suitors below, and decide which one you would consider a worthy follow-up to that pouting Jesus character who recently made a run for it. Madonna, [...]

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The Eight Greatest Living Stand-Up Comedians… Perhaps

by Josh Burt

The problem with comedy – and this really is a problem – is that while one member of a steamy love affair is rolling on the floor, begging for the jokes to stop, yelling that it hurts. It bloody hurts. Arrrggggh! The other one is silent, arms folded, almost angry because they’re not laughing. These jokers [...]

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Stars To Keep An Eye On In 2010

by Josh Burt

Unsurprisingly, much of the new year press was crammed with new names to look out for during the next twelve months. Some of these journalists, we’re pretty sure, were just making names up for a joke. Well, the joke is on you, imaginary showbusiness journalist with your shiny hair, because guess what? We’re still obsessed with [...]

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The GREATEST Celebrity Big Brother Line Up OF ALL TIME

by Josh Burt

Make no mistake about it, Celebrity Big Brother is brilliant. It’s like the exact opposite of normal Big Brother, in that one features everyday people with weird haircuts attempting to become famous, whilst this one features famous people attempting to convince the world that they are just like you and me. Only they’re not. They’re [...]

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The GREATEST Christmas Number Ones EVER!

by Josh Burt

Hey cool kids, you can stick your Rage Against The Machine vs X Factor nonsense. That’s right, sod off with it. Sod right off. Go on, keep sodding off. Sod off further. That’s it. Good. You’ve sodded off. Right, now that they’ve sodded off, let’s take a look at the best Christmas songs ever, because, quite frankly, neither [...]

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The Greatest Soap-Stars-Turned-Actors EVER!

by Josh Burt

The big showbiz news rendering important newspaper and magazine desks in London completely agog is that Louisa Lytton – who played someone-or-other in EastEnders – has just taken the world by storm by playing an exchange student in the latest American Pie movie. Without wanting to urinate too heavily on Louisa’s chips, who gives one? [...]

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