Josh Burt - HecklerSpray

Big Brother 2010 – Actually Quite Good… In A Way

July 2nd, 2010 By Josh Burt

Anyone who has ever endured the displeasure of listening to someone eulogising about a great TV show like The Wire or The Sopranos will know the score pretty well.

You just have to watch a few episodes, get used to it. Or to use the words of someone like Danny Dyer – you just need to break the tart in. Big Brother is the same. And like the aforementioned shows, you need to stick with it, and then stay stuck.

So, for the benefit of those people who have been too distracted by things like the World Cup, Andy Murray‘s thrilling Wimbledon ride, and going out with friends because it’s hot outside, here’s the general gist of what’s been going on…

Big Brother 2010 – The First Eviction

August 5th, 2012 By Josh Burt

In what will no doubt prove to be an almighty blunder, Big Brother XI ? the gripping final series ? has rather stupidly gone up against a World Cup. It's a bit like attempting to celebrate your 21^st birthday on the day that Princess Diana died. How do we know that? Don't ask questions, we just do.

It was not a good day for celebrations.

Anyway, we're something like a week in now, and this series looks set to go down in history as the sixth or seventh finest yet. Who will go tomorrow? Who will win? Read on to find out.

Big Brother 2010 Winner Revealed! Kind Of!

June 11th, 2010 By Josh Burt

Of course, it's easy to jump on the bandwagon driven by the kind of highbrow pipe-smoking women who find Big Brother to be totally beneath them and deride the show.

But sod that, Big Brother is magnificent, and once the abominable cockery of the first couple of weeks dies down, it tends to settle and become a fascinating study of just how far people will go for your approval.

Until then, we?ll just have to make do with the din of fourteen voices vying for camera time, and the one that looks like Beyonce undergoing five slutty outfit changes per day, as if she's presenting a whorish reimagining of the Oscars.

But who will win the thing? Let's start with the people who definitely won't.

The Greatest Big Brother Housemates EVER!

August 7th, 2012 By Josh Burt

Get excited, friends, Big Brother ? the final series ? isn't a million miles away.

Of course, lots of people seem to find it fashionable to deride the show for not being brainy enough, or for encouraging idiots to go on television. But, frankly, those people can sod off, because Big Brother is truly excellent.

So, to celebrate, below are ten of the best from every series so far?

What Next For The Ladies Of Girls Aloud?

May 14th, 2010 By Josh Burt

The process of a pop group disbanding is very similar to the gradual disintegration of a once-wonderful love affair.

It starts with a few missed appointments, then a couple of sudden solo holidays, followed by dates with other people, startling weight loss on your part, thanks to an inability to hold down food. Then eventually you're left in a metaphorical sand-holding situation, in which the sand represents your love, and yet it appears to be flowing through your fingers at an ever-quickening rate.

Eventually, in your heightened state of mania, you notice that the sand has gone. There's nothing there. It's over. And rather embarrassingly, your partner has moved on, and appears to be actually marrying someone else. When did all of that happen?

Anyway, all of this leads completely seamlessly to the popular all-girl group, Girls Aloud. In egg timer terms, the consensus this week is that time is running out ? over 50 per cent of them are going solo, and four of them are really bloody thin. Basically, it's finished. So what next for these glamorous young women? Read on and you\’ll find out?

The 10 Greatest Movies From The 1980s EVER!

September 20th, 2012 By Josh Burt

Ahh, the 1980s. They?re back, apparently, thanks to a new film about a magic hot tub, and what a decade!

Depressed, unemployed miners moped around in wine bars wearing tiny little fluorescent shorts and boob tubes. Businessmen carried mobile phones in rucksacks on their backs.

Absolutely everyone drank cocktails, ladies with feathery blonde hair attended aerobics classes every Thursday, and who could ever forget those three gorgeous pin-ups battling to tighten everyone's chinos? Debbie Harry, the one from Bananarama, the pretty lady in Culture Club?

Yes, it was quite a time, and after the jump, you can enjoy a list of the ten greatest movies from a decade that stuck two big fingers up at the pipe smoking beardos who made the 1970s all bulbous and prog-rock.

A List Of Reality TV Contestants Who Surprised Us All!

April 22nd, 2010 By Josh Burt

Those who follow reality television with a keen eye will be all too aware of Diana Vickers ? once of X Factor, now about to storm the pop charts with a song called Once.

If you're new to her, here?s the deal: she has the speaking voice of a girl from Lancashire begging her parents for fish and chips, as her mother silently scrubs the front step wearing a long flowery dress, and her father stares angrily at a betting slip. And yet, when she sings she absolutely comes alive, like a malfunctioning synthesiser with a mind of its own.

She also happens to be bucking a reality television trend, which demands that you do your stint, then disappear entirely, like Girlband, or Lisa from Big Brother ? remember them? Of course you don't!

With that in mind, below are five other reality contestants who haven't so much come back from the dead, as just surprised us a little bit for one reason or another? (not including Makosi from Big Brother who became a prostitute)?

10 Great Roller Skating Videos!

September 20th, 2012 By Josh Burt

Trends – they’re really cyclical. A couple of years ago, were you to go for a wander wearing a beret and red trousers that perfectly contoured the exact definition of your groin, everyone would think that you were a weirdo. ?Not now though. You’d be just another guy in beret and jeans, having a bit of a stroll.

And, of course, the clever ones know to hang onto these garments, even when they no longer feature on the cutting edge. They shall rise again. They always do. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but one day… and for a bit of the rest of your life.

Anyway, the point being that – thanks to a new Drew Barrymore film – roller skating looks all set to soar again, as it once did in the 1970s and 1980s. Hence, we thought it high time to leap directly onto the bandwagon early doors, and after the jump there are ten wonderful roller skating videos that you can show to?your friends, as you explain that, really, you’ve always been into it…

Happy Easter Everyone! Here’s Some Famous People Who Have Also Risen From The Dead!

April 1st, 2010 By Josh Burt

Christians around the world will be marking the day that Jesus casually strolled out of his tomb and blew everyone's minds, by frenziedly heaping great big handfuls of chocolate egg into their mouths, whilst enjoying Mel Gibson?s rather angry take on The Life of Brian.

Yes sir, it's going to be a great few days.

Anyway, in honour of this chocolatey holiday, we thought it high time we paid our respects to some other historical figures – more specifically, famous people – who have also risen from the dead. Only in a slightly less literal sense. They weren't actually dead. They were just jobless for a wee bit.

Relax Everyone! There’s No Oscar Curse!

March 19th, 2010 By Josh Burt

Right, everyone needs to calm down. Get a nice sweet tea, run yourself a hot bath, sprinkle rose petals around the house. Allow your clothes to slide gently from your body, and dab sprinkles of baby oil onto your thighs. That's it.?Mmm, feel?the soft breeze leaping and dancing around your underpants.

Now?put on that Best of Alexander O?Neal compilation that was specifically designed to soothe you. And relax. Relaxed??Then?listen carefully – there isn't an Oscar curse. That's right. Shhhhh?

Yes, it's true that Sandra Bullock?s wholesome life partner MIGHT have spent a few long evenings smearing his podgy sausage hands all over a woman with tatts on her bosoms, but this could have been going on for AGES. Even during Sandra?s period in the desert when she was just another non-Oscar winner. A nobody.

As for the others ? Halle Berry, Reese Witherspoon, Julia Roberts, the one who was a boy in that film about being confused ? they were all probably just terrible wives.

Now wake the hell up, because here?s something really uplifting! It's a handful of beautiful thespians who still have husbands/lesbian partners, despite winning an Oscar! See? There's no hex! You're so SWEET with your silly craziness.