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Ian Dransfield

Amy Winehouse Returns To The UK: Lock Up Your… Err… Hairspray?

by Ian Dransfield

We feared this day would come and we tried to prepare for it, but it all seems so futile when presented with the horrible truth: Amy Winehouse is back in the UK. We’re all to blame – the signs were thrust into our collective face – we were warned. Recession? Warning. Global warming? Warning. Death [...]

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Katie Price And Piers Morgan: A Perfect Reason To Blow Up Your TV!

by Ian Dransfield

There are some moves people will make to maintain credibility, and there are some moves which end up being quite misinformed. Can you guess which side Katie Price (or “Jordan” if you prefer her hooker name) being interviewed by Piers Morgan (or “Twat” if you prefer his real name) would fall into? But what if [...]

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Ozzy Osbourne Doesn’t Bite The Head Off His Dog, But It Still Ends Up Dead

by Ian Dransfield

The world of entertainment has lost another of its true greats, adding yet another name to the list of death in the last few months. Following the hysterical splurge of affection for a man who just the day before was being mocked around the clock on Michael Jackson‘s death, through the shameful ignorance shown by [...]

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Robert Pattinson Shares His Vampiric Seed With Kristen Stewart. Maybe.

by Ian Dransfield

It’s sure to come as a shock, but try not to go for your gun straight away, whether it’s to go on a killing rampage or to turn the barrel on yourself. Just hold on. You can get through this. It’s damn hard though. We’re struggling ourselves to come to terms with the news. Be [...]

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Guff About Videogames – The Secret of Michael Jackson Island

by Ian Dransfield

There is some news that just gets swept under in the grand scheme of things, even if it’s Twittered about and – as we all know – everyone in the world reads that pile of tripe. Even news about Lucasarts classics being remade and re-released on one of those new-fangled ‘digital distribution’ platforms, called ‘Steam‘, [...]

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Megan Fox and Zac Efron In Wild “Dating” Extravaganza. Possibly.

by Ian Dransfield

Jealousy is a sad, bad thing for everyone involved – and it’s especially bad when it involves some of the most incredibly talented A-list performers in the world today. Which means this news isn’t as bad as it could have been, because it only involves Megan Fox and Zac Efron. Anyway, these little blighters have [...]

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Michael Welch Doesn’t Want Robert Pattinson Murdered In The Streets By You People

by Ian Dransfield

We’re worried about Robert Pattinson – no, genuinely – we are worried about the vampire-man from the Twilight films. After all, being relentlessly pursued all your life (for the last year) by a bunch of shrieking, cloying tweens and spinsters is hard enough. Throw in those devastating floods of urine and it’s sure to annoy [...]

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Perez Hilton Now Fights John Mayer and GLAAD To The Death (ish)

by Ian Dransfield

We at hecklerspray feel nothing but intense sympathy for the shining beacon of all celebrity cock-drawing that is Perez Hilton after the suffering he must have been through recently. Not only has he allegedly been attacked by will.i.am/Bill.I.Was/Frank Arnesen/whatever’s manager, he’s now been insulted by a man who vies with Robert Pattinson for the title [...]

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Guff About Videogames – PEGI 18+ Edition

by Ian Dransfield

Apologies to those who missed last week’s Guff – we know how much you love it and how it ranks amongst the most-viewed pages in hecklerspray history, but the hive mind went on a road trip. By train. So, back to normal service it is. Hey – aren’t these things that happened over the last [...]

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Megan Fox in Rose-Refusal Mania! (With Apology)

by Ian Dransfield

Shocking news shockingly emerged to shock the world when it was revealed Megan Fox brutally snubbed a fan offering her a rose the other day. While most of the shock was reserved for the fan himself, who looked like the 80s had truly never ended, some people reserved their shockedness for the one in the [...]

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