Do you remember when Baddiel and Skinner weren’t annoying idiots?

We do. It was in this time they were at the helm of the show Fantasy Football League – a show that ran originally on the BBC as a weekly series, before being relegated to ITV and only being shown every other night during some international tournaments.

The novelty factor of it was that it was actually funny, consistently, and produced some fine pre-internet memes that fans of the show, and football in general, could share. Just ask Jason Lee. So here we go, in no particular order – and quite annoying…

The day the forces of the undead and the deaddead join together in an unholy union has arrived. Live in fear, peons.

For you see, the recently (the other year) died-but-didn’t Amy Winehouse has been haunted by the ghost of the recently (the other month) died-but-did Michael Jackson.

But why did Jackson visit her, of all people? Why, to warn her of the dangers of drugs, obviously.

It would seem his spirit learned faster than his body did.

President Obama hates videogames – we have a reason to doubt the messiah. Took a while to find one that wasn’t borne out of racism or hatred of being fair to people, but we’ve found one.

Sure, it may be grasping at straws to find fault with what he’s saying, and sure it may just be the kneejerk defensive reaction of a gamer wronged that we’re seeing – with the potential for some old-fashion INTERNET JUSTICE to be doled out.

But hey – we welcome reasons to dislike popular people.

In a bold move to try and make people remember who he is, Blake Fielder-Civil has claimed Amy Winehouse died in his arms.

The problems here are twofold: one – it’s only nearly died, thus removing most of the impact, and two – who the hell is Blake Fielder-Civil?

Answers on a postcard please.

Even faced with this wall of evidence pointing to the fact that no one cares or knows who this plum is, The Sun still went and chatted to Amy Winehouse’s ex-husband where he revealed the astonishing facts of a regular junkie party for the former couple.

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Much can be said about Heather Mills. Much has been said about Heather Mills. It’s safe to say that we aren’t the only ones who have said things about Heather Mills.

So we did kind of expect her to fight back in some way, what with her being a bit “interesting” in the head.

What we didn’t expect was that she’d wish cancer on anyone who had ever wronged her, tumours on those who had slighted her and death to those who gave her funny looks.

Sure, she denied she’d actually said that, but we happen to trust The Observer over Bionic Commandette.

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When the list is finally produced covering the ‘Things We Absolutely Do Not Want To Ever Know About, Ever’, this will be right up there at the top.

Nobody needs to know that Sam Ronson has apparently bought Lindsay Lohan a big pile of sex toys for her birthday.

We didn’t need to know, we didn’t want to know and we feel a bit sick now. Which is why we had to tell you lot, so you can feel as ill as we do.

Yep – sick as a dog.

News likely to shock anyone with eyes, a brain, at least an ear and possibly a face just in! Love child scandal! Fiasco! Controversy! Other shocking words to grab attention!

For it seems that those who are fit to make claims – i.e. the British tabloids – are doing just that, in claiming that Michael Jackson has an illicit love-baby who is now a full-man.

Yes, a full-man named Omer Bhatti, who also happens to be a Norwegian rapper.

Well that’s it settled then – if he’s a Norwegian rapper he has to be Michael Jackson’s illegitimate, product-of-a-one-night-stand son.

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What better way to cheer yourselves up in these times of economic strife than through the knowledge that something you have nothing to do with, nor could ever hope of having anything to do with, has made a crapload of money?

There is no better way, as Harry Potter and the Half Order of the Philosopher’s Hallows has shown us all by raking in more than $100 million in its first day on release.

Puts you in the perfect mood for a weekend, doesn’t it paupers!

But can Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (Ha! We do know what it’s called!) possibly rake in even…