I know what you're thinking.You're thinking John Cusack has fallen off the acting wagon. You're thinking that he hasn't been in anything noteworthy in over a decade. The Raven? Hot Tub Time Machine? What? (Confession: I haven’t seen either of these and they could very well?be good, but whatever).

Or maybe you're not thinking that at all. Maybe you're thinking that he is the greatest actor in the history of ever. He can do no wrong. To that I'might say, slow your roll. Let’s not get too crazy.

But, I think we can all agree that this man is endearing as hell. Just look at him. Look at his face. How can you look at that mug and not like this guy?

Celebrities have this thing where they have to one up each other in the baby naming department. Who can come up?with the wackiest combination of words to form a name for their child? It’s like a game! So fun!??Publicity!

Now, I know that everyone has a right to name their?youngins whatever they want. Who am I to judge? What makes me an expert?

I don’t have any good answers to those questions, but I do love to judge, so here’s a list of what I have deemed to be the strangest celeb baby names:

What comes to mind when you hear the name “Tom Cruise?” Actor? Sure. Father? Maybe. Husband? Sometimes. Or more likely: Weirdo? Totally. Wacko? Oh, yeah. Dweeb? Definitely.

The Tom Cruise of the?eighties and?nineties is not the Tom Cruise of today. The Tom Cruise of the eighties?and?nineties was cool, calm, and collected. The Tom Cruise of today is someone you can probably picture living inside a cold, sterile, steel and concrete house. He sits around all day rocking back and forth while cackling at the stupidity of the human race. The only reason he leaves?his house is to attend Scientology conventions or meetings or whatever the hell they have.

What has Tom Cruise become? Where is Ethan Hunt? Where is Pete “Maverick” Mitchell? Hell, where is that rock star he played in Rock of Ages?

Priscilla Presley is that you? Oh sorry, my bad, that’s just Lana Del Rey trying to be you. It's 1967 ?in Lana?s mind and I guess if you're going to choose anyone to emulate you might as well want to be someone Elvis chose to marry and then divorce. Right? Maybe?

But she isn't even doing it in an interesting way. Is this woman even relevant anymore?? Who are we talking about again? I’m falling asleep just writing this sentence.

I apologize?for the obvious reference to her song ‘Criminal,’ but it's true. It would appear that Fiona likes to smoke the hashish and she went and got herself caught. She joins the ranks of Willie Nelson and Snoop Dogg by getting arrested at a Border Patrol checkpoint?in Sierra Blanca, Texas. Tsk tsk.

This arrest might actually be good for her. She recently released a new album, The Idler Wheel blah blah blah the title is seriously a paragraph long, and this could provide?the little boost in popularity that she needs. She’s a bit of a recluse, so to say that she releases albums at a glacial pace would be an understatement.

I recently saw the movie Lawless, where Tom Hardy plays this cardigan-wearing, grunting redneck that sells moonshine illegally. I know this description makes him sound less than extraordinary, but au contraire! I think I'm in love with this man and his manly manliness.?

What makes Tom Hardy the manliest manly man in the entire universe? Well, it’s a bit complicated. You see, a lot of layers make the man. Let’s take a journey and see what makes Tom Hardy so…hearty?

Blake and Ry swapped some secret vows a couple of weeks ago and the media’s all aflutter. Ooh private ceremony! Ooh Florence Welch sang at the reception! Ooh ooh ooh! Maybe I’m alone in thinking this, but is this not the weirdest couple? Something just doesn’t sit right with me and the idea that these two are now married. Alas, I am but an innocent bystander and know nothing of their love. Sigh. Yawn.

I got to thinking, why would these two decide to tie the knot, after only about a year of dating? Is there more to this affair than meets the eye??We’ve all got?questions and I?have the answers.