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hecklerspray staff

Get The Cannes Treatment, Jacques D’Azur-Style

by hecklerspray staff

First the bad news: Jacques d’Azur won’t be going to the Cannes festival this year, because he’s dead. What’s the good news?

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Guide To Becoming An International Lothario

by hecklerspray staff

If last night’s Oscars taught us anything, it’s that George Clooney can do no wrong. There he was, right in the front row, pulling a thousand faces that made him look like everything from a bored child in church to a bored child in church with a nasty case of intestinal parasites, and the ladies [...]

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Brittany Murphy & The Trouble With Prescription Drugs

by hecklerspray staff

Hollywood actress Brittany Murphy died towards the end of last year, which was actually really sad news. She played some decent characters and was, in my esteemed opinion as someone who’s reviewed many a film, a good actress. To clarify; by ‘many’ I mean more than one. And by ‘reviewed’ I mean ask questions all [...]

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Alex Reid Marries Jordan, Because He Loves Her Very Much

by hecklerspray staff

Put away that morning suit and store away your hat. Your invitation to Jordan’s wedding to Alex Reid is never going to arrive, because they’ve gone and got married in private in Las Vegas. Well, if ‘in private’ means having your airbrushed wedding photo smeared all over the front of Hello! The publicity shy duo [...]

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Why People Hate Megan Fox

by hecklerspray staff

I recently stumbled upon this really old NYT article posing the question ‘why don’t people like Megan Fox?’ I am writing this from my position in the middle of an internet Venn Diagram, flanked by two differing (though both equally militant) opinions, regarding some-time actress Megan Fox. It seems I must either be filled with [...]

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Ex-EastEnder Hannah Waterman Dumps Ricky Groves For Fellow Dried Fruit

by hecklerspray staff

It’s well into January, which means it’s well into celeb weight loss and fitness DVD season. Yes, you too can go from a flabby, miserable mess to a honed and toned image of perfection with the help of your favourite smug and smiling TV personality.  Of course, you won’t have the added benefits of airbrushing, [...]

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Here’s A Statue Of Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie Having It Off

by hecklerspray staff

Daniel Edwards is a weird art-perv. In fairness, most art is based on someone being a perv. The Venus de Milo is the voyeuristic peerings by a man staring at a woman coming out of the shower and Tracey Emin‘s tent was a list of all the men foolish enough to bear down on her [...]

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Sherlock Holmes & The 99 Cent Go-Go Taquitos

by hecklerspray staff

From Paul Newman eating 50 eggs in the film Cool Hand Luke, to Mel Gibson eating dog biscuits in Lethal Weapon 3, movies and food have been closely linked. So it comes as no surprise that in order to promote the new Guy Ritchie-helmed version of Sherlock Holmes, Warner Brothers have teamed up with that [...]

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Jordan Is A Drunk Whore (Apparently)

by hecklerspray staff

Those weren’t the exact words used by feminist author Fay Weldon, because Weldon is a well respected writer who has probably forgotten more words than I know. But at the recent Richmond Book Now festival she did say that the glamour model “drinks too much and sleeps with two many people and talks about it [...]

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Why I Hate Guitar Hero, And You

by hecklerspray staff

I wonder if a fighter pilot would feel the same way about me playing Star Fox as I feel about you playing Guitar Hero. Yes, I do mean YOU. You kids with your iBoxes and your X-Phones, lurching about with your  Wii steering wheels, Wii fridges, and Wii windows that display a cartoon image of [...]

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