Articles by David Schwartz
They may be able to talk the talk – but can they really walk the walk?
Hollywood movies are littered with so-called tough guys. But take away their stunt doubles, green screens and fake guns and what do you have left? Nic Cage? He’s just a lanky streak of piss. Mel Gibson? Give me a break. Mark Wahlberg? Don’t make us laugh. Tom Cruise? Now you really are taking the piss.
Well, hecklerspray has come up with a list of Hollywood actors we think really could mix it with the best of them. These are Hollywood hardmen who really did live up to…
It’s almost impossible to genuinely surprise and shock people in movie theatres these days.
We’ve already seen it all. We suspect every member of the cast of being the murderer. We’ve developed strong stomachs after seeing just about every imaginable way an unstoppable maniac with a huge knife can kill horny teenagers. Even most of the sexual taboos have become mainstream and boring by today’s standards.
Anyway, we may feel pretty unshockable now, but here at hecklerspray we wanted to pay homage to the groundbreaking, WTF moments that really had us staring blankly at the screen in disbelief. These clips are comprised…
We may hate to admit it, but when it comes to movies, we’re all war-mongering bastards.
War may be good for nothing – but it certainly spices up a film. How else can you explain how we found it so difficult to cut this down these down to just 15? It was really, really hard. There are so many good battle scenes in films, it’s almost inevitable we’ll have missed a few out.
So to make it easier, we restricted it to just land battles, although spaceships, helicopters and planes are also included in the scenes. Air, space and sea battles will…
Grab your magic wands and swords – let’s hear it for the hottest fantasy film babes.
In our latest excuse to trawl the internet looking for pictures of sexy women, we have decided to focus our attentions on the strange world of fantasy.
Now, admittedly, this could be misinterpreted as an excuse to scour the net for porn. Type in the words ‘fantasy film’ or ‘fantasy babes’ into your search engine of choice and you certainly get some interesting responses. But you’ll be delighted to know we stayed professional throughout, kept our greedy eyes off the one ring and stuck rigidly to…
You would think the movie-going public had something against horny teenage girls.
Why else would slasher movies – which basically revel in killing them off – be so popular? We just can’t get enough of them. Mind you, it’s not only the cheerleader types that usually end up in body bags. There’s the jocks, of course. Then the nerds. Leaving the weird loner types to usually save the day.
We are sure this has some kind of social significance and insight into Western culture, but we are a snarky entertainment site, for God’s sake. We are not here to educate.
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Why do we love vampire movies so much?
Vampires are essentially pale, scary-looking monsters who dress in black and drain the life-force out of anyone who crosses their path. Maybe Hollywood should make a movie about emo lawyers or tax inspectors. Should go down a scream at the box office.
Anyway, the point is we love vampires. Can’t get enough of them.
There’s nothing quite like a movie monster.
No, we are not talking about Liz Hurley, Catherine Zeta Jones or Rosie O’Donnell, we are talking about hideous creatures that thrive on the weak and the unholy scent of death. Again, we are not talking about Liz Hurley, Catherine Zeta Jones or Rosie O’Donnell.
Anyway, a good movie monster can add real bite (literally) to even the most mundane films.
Michael Jackson is dead, according to several news sources including TMZ and the LA Times.
The self-proclaimed King of Pop has reportedly suffered a massive cardiac arrest in his LA home and had stopped breathing by the time paramedics arrived.
