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David Schwartz

James McAvoy, Ron Perlman To Star In The Hobbit?

by David Schwartz

Budgets must be tight at The Hobbit. Why else would they want an annoying actor like James McAvoy to play the lead role of Bilbo Baggins unless they wanted to save on the special effects?

The tiny Scottish star has been heavily linked to be the star of the heavily-anticipated movie, which will be directed by Guillermo Del Toro and produced by Peter Jackson.

And, you have to say, he would be perfect as a hobbit. Well, he’s already about 3ft tall.

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Is The Hobbit Dead In The Water Already?

by David Schwartz

Apparently, not everyone is looking forward to seeing the new adaptation of Tolkien’s The Hobbit.

Well, for starters, there is a deformed bloke in a village in Peru who keeps getting rocks thrown at him and being called ‘Gollum’ who wishes they would forget the whole idea. Saying that, he still has the entire Lord of The Rings trilogy on DVD – gold edition, too.

Then there’s our housemate Steve, who is just odd. And then there is Tolkien’s 83-year-old son Christopher, who just doesn’t like people enjoying themselves.

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Highlander & Flash Gordon Movies Planned, God Weeps

by David Schwartz

“There can only be one.” God, we should be so lucky.

Clearly, Hollywood producers were not paying attention when these words were famously uttered in Highlander – a 1986 film starring Christopher Lambert and Sean Connery, just in case you weren’t sure.
How else can you explain the three shitty sequels, the two turgid TV series, the endless crap novels and the pointless cartoons that have followed it?

And, more importantly, how else do you explain why they are already planning another film?

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Top 10 Fights In Movie History

by David Schwartz

Violence in movies – terrible, isn’t it. No! We all like to see a good old-fashioned scrap once in a while.

Don’t even try to deny it. You may try and act like you abhor violence in movies, but deep down the sight of two people kicking the crap out of each other really gets you going.

Well, hecklerspray understands. There’s been many a time when we have pictured ourselves beating Sting to a bloody pulp. See kids, violence is fine as long as it’s in your mind, not on the streets. Anyway, to celebrate the fact that we all love to see someone evil get a good hiding, we have come up with our 10 favourite fight scenes in films.

And if you disagree, we’ll come around your house…

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Top 8 Werewolf Movies

by David Schwartz

Finally, a list we can really get our teeth into – the best-ever films about werewolves.

You only need look at the excitement caused by Benicio Del Toro’s new film The Wolfman to realise how much we love stories about lycanthropes.

But why are we so fascinated by movies about people who change into man-eating wolves every full moon? It can’t be because we think we could all do with more hair, sharper teeth and a dog-like snout. Although, it’s a look that hasn’t done Sarah Jessica Parker’s career any harm at all. It’s probably something to do with unleashing the beast – something the hecklerspray crew tries to do every Friday night without fail. Of course, Hollywood has tried to tap into this curiosity on many occasions. However, very few filmmakers get it right.

Werewolves are slightly more demanding on special effects artists than zombies or vampires. While all you have to do with the other two is slap on some white make-up and you’re halfway there, changing into a half-man, half-beast demands a little more work. And let’s face it, most of them get it wrong. Even Jack Nicholson couldn’t save Wolf.

Anyway, here’s the list. Enjoy!

Finally, a list we can really get our teeth into – the best-ever films about werewolves. You only need look at the excitement caused by Benicio Del Toro's new film The Wolfman to realise how much we love stories about lycanthropes. But why are we so fascinated by movies about people who change into man-eating wolves every full moon? It can't be because we think we could all do with more hair, sharper teeth and a dog-like snout. Although, it's a look that hasn't done Sarah Jessica Parker's career any harm at all. It's probably something to do with unleashing the beast – something the hecklerspray crew tries to do every Friday night without fail. Of course, Hollywood has tried to tap into this curiosity on many occasions. However, very few filmmakers get it right. Werewolves are slightly more demanding on special effects artists than zombies or vampires. While all you have to do with the other two is slap on some white make-up and you're halfway there, changing into a half-man, half-beast demands a little more work. And let's face it, most of them get it wrong. Even Jack Nicholson couldn't save Wolf. Anyway, here's the list. Enjoy!
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Top 10 Sports Movies

by David Schwartz

What is it about sports films that can turn even the hardest of men into blubbering idiots? Tragic tales of unspeakable hardship or unrequited love will pass by without so much as a whimper.

But show them a story of how a crappy team somehow rises from the ashes to become the best in the league and it won’t be long before they’re crying like newborn babies. Maybe it’s something in the male genes. Crying and sport seem to go hand in hand.

Films about sport can have the same reaction. OK, so they don’t replace the thrill of scoring a late goal, hitting a match-winning home run or scoring the touchdown that wins your team the Super Bowl, but they come close – the good ones that is.

Sure, some sports films can make you cry without being any good at all. The Fan made us want to weep for Robert De Niro’s career, for example. However, sometimes directors get it right; sometimes they capture why sport is such a global obsession.

Here are Hecklerspray’s perfect 10…

What is it about sports films that can turn even the hardest of men into blubbering idiots? Tragic tales of unspeakable hardship or unrequited love will pass by without so much as a whimper. But show them a story of how a crappy team somehow rises from the ashes to become the best in the league and it won't be long before they're crying like newborn babies. Maybe it's something in the male genes. Crying and sport seem to go hand in hand. Films about sport can have the same reaction. OK, so they don't replace the thrill of scoring a late goal, hitting a match-winning home run or scoring the touchdown that wins your team the Super Bowl, but they come close – the good ones that is. Sure, some sports films can make you cry without being any good at all. The Fan made us want to weep for Robert De Niro's career, for example. However, sometimes directors get it right; sometimes they capture why sport is such a global obsession. Here are Hecklerspray's perfect 10...
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Top 14 Sexiest Women Of The Eighties

by David Schwartz

Why are we so ashamed of the Eighties? Don’t believe us? OK, why then do we always associate it with greed and excess? Why do we laugh at the fashion mistakes? Why do we find ourselves hiding the 80s tracks we’ve downloaded into ouriPods?

It’s true. In the Decades family, the 1980s is like the brash middle brother no one talks to at functions because he’s obsessed with money, carries a phone the size of a house brick and has a really bad perm. Well,hecklerspray is not standing for it any more. We’re loud and proud. We are children of the Eighties and we’re not ashamed to say it.

And to prove it wasn’t all New Romantics, Rubik’s Cubes and yuppies, we’ve compiled 14 reasons why the 1980s kicked ass.

Now, we could go on for hours about the great music and movies of the period, but we’re going to focus purely on the lovely ladies of the era. And, if you can forgive the big hair and shoulder pads, it really was a golden one.

Why are we so ashamed of the Eighties? Don't believe us? OK, why then do we always associate it with greed and excess? Why do we laugh at the fashion mistakes? Why do we find ourselves hiding the 80s tracks we've downloaded into ouriPods? It's true. In the Decades family, the 1980s is like the brash middle brother no one talks to at functions because he's obsessed with money, carries a phone the size of a house brick and has a really bad perm. Well,hecklerspray is not standing for it any more. We're loud and proud. We are children of the Eighties and we're not ashamed to say it. And to prove it wasn't all New Romantics, Rubik's Cubes and yuppies, we've compiled 14 reasons why the 1980s kicked ass. Now, we could go on for hours about the great music and movies of the period, but we're going to focus purely on the lovely ladies of the era. And, if you can forgive the big hair and shoulder pads, it really was a golden one.
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Top 10 Badass Cops Who Don’t Play By The Rules

by David Schwartz

If ever you needed convincing how much movies do not reflect real life look no further than cop movies. We love films about the police – we think they’re great!

If we were to believe Hollywood, we’d think cops are tough, wise-cracking, crazy bastards who would risk life and pension just to keep the streets safe from filthy criminals. If we were to believe Hollywood, we’d think cops are actually cool people. If we were to believe Hollywood, we would have faith in them to get the job done.

But this is not Hollywood, dammit! And cops are far from cool people who get the job done. In fact, in hecklerspray’s limited experience of dealing with the police, we generally find them obnoxious, pedantic, donut-munching, lazy, fat, pompous, pain-in-the arse, stupid, docile, boring motherfuckers. And that’s just the good ones.

So why do we like them so much? Is it because they’re generally the ones who ‘don’t play by the rules’. Not that anyone has ever explained what the goddamn game is, let alone what the stupid rules are.

Besides, we’d hate a cop who didn’t play by the rules in real life.

So it must be because they do what we all would love to do – deal out our own kind of rough justice on real ‘evil-doers’. Plus, they do it with a witty one-liner. Perfect! Maybe there’s a homicidal cop in all of us. What a frightening thought.

If ever you needed convincing how much movies do not reflect real life look no further than cop movies. We love films about the police – we think they're great! If we were to believe Hollywood, we'd think cops are tough, wise-cracking, crazy bastards who would risk life and pension just to keep the streets safe from filthy criminals. If we were to believe Hollywood, we'd think cops are actually cool people. If we were to believe Hollywood, we would have faith in them to get the job done. But this is not Hollywood, dammit! And cops are far from cool people who get the job done. In fact, in hecklerspray's limited experience of dealing with the police, we generally find them obnoxious, pedantic, donut-munching, lazy, fat, pompous, pain-in-the arse, stupid, docile, boring motherfuckers. And that's just the good ones. So why do we like them so much? Is it because they're generally the ones who 'don't play by the rules'. Not that anyone has ever explained what the goddamn game is, let alone what the stupid rules are. Besides, we'd hate a cop who didn't play by the rules in real life. So it must be because they do what we all would love to do – deal out our own kind of rough justice on real 'evil-doers'. Plus, they do it with a witty one-liner. Perfect! Maybe there's a homicidal cop in all of us. What a frightening thought.
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Top 10 Movie Heists

by David Schwartz

In our normal humdrum lives we abhor thieves and bank robbers, but a quick glance at the list of films below tells quite a different story.

Indeed, some of the movies mentioned would not be out of place on most people’s all-time top 10 films, never mind heist films. So what is it that makes us so fascinated by them? Is it that we wish we had the balls to do it ourselves? Most of the criminals involved get some kind of comeuppance and usually we’re desperate to get out of banks rather than the other way around. So it is because they look cool while doing it?

But they are not all cool. Look at Al Pacino’s hapless bank robber in Dog Day Afternoon. So what is it? Well, we don’t know. What do you mean you want answers? We’re an entertainment site for God’s sake, not Sigmund Freud! Actually, it’s probably the guns. That and the fact there are so many of them they were bound to get a few right.

In our normal humdrum lives we abhor thieves and bank robbers, but a quick glance at the list of films below tells quite a different story. Indeed, some of the movies mentioned would not be out of place on most people's all-time top 10 films, never mind heist films. So what is it that makes us so fascinated by them? Is it that we wish we had the balls to do it ourselves? Most of the criminals involved get some kind of comeuppance and usually we're desperate to get out of banks rather than the other way around. So it is because they look cool while doing it? But they are not all cool. Look at Al Pacino's hapless bank robber in Dog Day Afternoon. So what is it? Well, we don't know. What do you mean you want answers? We're an entertainment site for God's sake, not Sigmund Freud! Actually, it's probably the guns. That and the fact there are so many of them they were bound to get a few right.
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Top 20 Screen Robots

by David Schwartz

Why do we love robots so much?

Well, we all love machines, right? Especially the ones which make our lives easier. Let’s face it, most of us can’t be separated from our iPods, laptops and iPhones these days. But how about when they turn against us? The time when our TV and cinema screens were full of clunky dustbins and oversized toasters just happy to help has long gone.

Now robots look more like supermodels and want to wipe us out. In fact, some of them are more hard-on than hard disc. Well, that’s progress for you. But we still love them, right? Despite the fact they want to kill us.

Anyway, hecklerspray has decided to come up with the 20 models from TV and cinema that are a cut above. Enjoy!

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