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David Schwartz

Top 7 Celebrities With Animals Named After Them

by David Schwartz

It can’t be easy to come up with new names for animals all the time.

Thousands of new creatures are uncovered every year, and scientists only have so many dogs and kids to inspire them.

So why not delve into the murky world of celebrity? Why not name a new type of predator after your favourite band? Why not christen a new species of maggot after your least favourite? In fact, back in Hecklerspray HQ we have discovered a new type of fungus growing out of one of our unwashed cups. Please free to write in with your suggestions, but at the moment we are leaning towards Sting or Elizabeth Hurley.

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Jon Voight the terrible choice as Jack Bauer’s nemesis in 24

by David Schwartz

Sometimes you really have to ask what the hell is going on? First, hit show 24 becomes ‘26’. Then it casts Jon Voight as a terrorist. The 69-year-old Oscar-winning actor was recently signed on to be Jack Bauer’s nemesis for the upcoming seventh series. After the shambles of the sixth series, 24 have pulled out [...]

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Top 25 Bond Deaths

by David Schwartz

Best James Bond Deaths goldfinger

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Top 15 Annoyingly Catchy 80s TV Theme Tunes

by David Schwartz

Some TV themes just refuse to go away and leave us in peace.

They are stuck in our heads forever. You could be innocently sitting in a bar or a pub having a nice drink, when someone’s annoying mobile starts playing the A-Team. Then, bang! You can’t get the damn tune out of your head. What makes it even worse is you don’t want to either.

Give it a few more hours (and a few more drinks) and you will annoyingly start shouting “a pity the fool” at your mates, who despite their protestations, also start to feel nostalgic and end up humming the tune on their drunken way home. It’s like torture.

Well, just to continue the cycle, hecklerspray has come up with 10 TV tunes from the glorious 80s for you to ponder. Now, some of the series started in the 70s. We are well of it, but we only picked the ones which subsequently ran during most of the 80s. Anyway, enjoy. If you can.

Some TV themes just refuse to go away and leave us in peace. They are stuck in our heads forever. You could be innocently sitting in a bar or a pub having a nice drink, when someone's annoying mobile starts playing the A-Team. Then, bang! You can't get the damn tune out of your head. What makes it even worse is you don't want to either. Give it a few more hours (and a few more drinks) and you will annoyingly start shouting "a pity the fool" at your mates, who despite their protestations, also start to feel nostalgic and end up humming the tune on their drunken way home. It's like torture. Well, just to continue the cycle, hecklerspray has come up with 10 TV tunes from the glorious 80s for you to ponder. Now, some of the series started in the 70s. We are well of it, but we only picked the ones which subsequently ran during most of the 80s. Anyway, enjoy. If you can.
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Cancer-stricken Patrick Swayze to make TV comeback

by David Schwartz

From DIETPIXIE- It seems nothing really can put Patrick Swayze in a corner. Just a few months ago, the Dirty Dancing star had weeks to live after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. But it was reported this week that 55-year-old Patrick Swayze is actually returning to work. Yes, you heard that right: cancer-stricken Patrick Swayze [...]

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Jack Black: Brace Yourself World, I’m Planning To Get Naked

by David Schwartz

Someone please give Jack Black a cheeseburger.

Why? Well, for starters, shoving it in his big, fat chops might shut him up.

Secondly, it could be the only way we can stop him from doing nude scenes.

That’s right – nude scenes!!

‘Nude scenes’ and ‘Jack Black’ – if ever there was four words that should not appear together in the same sentence it’s that right there.

And you’ll be disgusted to know that the Kung Fu Panda star has done them before (In Margot at the Wedding – just in case you are some twisted freak and want to check him out.)

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Top 18 80s Kids’ Cartoons

by David Schwartz

Remember when your parents used to tell that your childhood are the best days of your life? First of all, why did they do that? Were they just jealous? What did they think you would do with that information? What are you supposed to say to that?

Secondly, as much as it hurts to admit it, they were right.

Sure, being an adult has its advantages, right? You couldn’t drive a car, get drunk (legally) or have sex (again legally) when you were a kid. In fact, you had put up with quite a lot of crap as a youngster, like the whole ‘no you are too young to go the pub’ thing and those tortuous Saturday afternoons spent being dragged around the shops by your mum looking for new fucking shoes for school. (OK, there are a lot worse things about growing up, but these are the only two that are springing to mind at the moment).

The point is, despite all the growing pains, we all cherish our childhoods. Why? Because the world seemed a more exciting place, we guess. Now, we’ve seen it all before; got the T-shirt. Then, you just couldn’t wait for the next non-school day. You only need to look at the fun we have had compiling these cartoons to tell how important they are to us.We all remember the days spent waiting for the next instalment of He-Man or Transformers.

We chose the eighties (i.e. cartoons which mainly ran during that decade), mainly because most of us grew up then, but also because it seems to be a golden era of cartoons. Or maybe we are getting too excited again. Bloody kids! Anyway, enjoy!

Remember when your parents used to tell that your childhood are the best days of your life? First of all, why did they do that? Were they just jealous? What did they think you would do with that information? What are you supposed to say to that? Secondly, as much as it hurts to admit it, they were right. Sure, being an adult has its advantages, right? You couldn't drive a car, get drunk (legally) or have sex (again legally) when you were a kid. In fact, you had put up with quite a lot of crap as a youngster, like the whole 'no you are too young to go the pub' thing and those tortuous Saturday afternoons spent being dragged around the shops by your mum looking for new fucking shoes for school. (OK, there are a lot worse things about growing up, but these are the only two that are springing to mind at the moment). The point is, despite all the growing pains, we all cherish our childhoods. Why? Because the world seemed a more exciting place, we guess. Now, we've seen it all before; got the T-shirt. Then, you just couldn't wait for the next non-school day. You only need to look at the fun we have had compiling these cartoons to tell how important they are to us.We all remember the days spent waiting for the next instalment of He-Man or Transformers. We chose the eighties (i.e. cartoons which mainly ran during that decade), mainly because most of us grew up then, but also because it seems to be a golden era of cartoons. Or maybe we are getting too excited again. Bloody kids! Anyway, enjoy!
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10 Upcoming Movie Sequels You Probably Didn’t Know – Or Care – Existed

by David Schwartz

Everyone knows sequels generally suck.The only reason Hollywood comes up with a second helping is to cash in on the success of the original.

Oh, and the fact that Hollywood hasn’t come up with any original ideas for years. And when they do they want to make the most of it – again, and again, and again…

Well, be prepared – because there is a host of sequels coming our way, whether you like it or not.

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Plan 9 From Out Of Space: The Needless Remake

by David Schwartz

Not content with ruining films we love with pointless remakes, Hollywood now wants to make one of the worst films ever made even crapper.

Dubbed the ‘worst movie of all time’ by many critics, Ed Wood’s Plan 9 From Outer Space is set to remade by filmmaker John Johnson.

Worse still, he claims he wants to create a ‘character-driven, serious-minded retelling of the original story, paying homage to the spirit of Wood’s film without resorting to camp or parody’.

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Patrick Swayze Probably Not Going To Star In Point Break 2

by David Schwartz

Everyone is surprised at the announcement that Patrick Swayze is to star in the sequel to Point Break – not least the cancer-stricken actor himself.

W. Peter Illiff, who wrote the screenplay for the original 1991 surfing movie, has penned a second instalment, and insists Swayze will return as the bank-robbing surfer Bodhi. He also says Keanu Reeves will return to play the FBI agent sent to track him down. He told US Weekly:

“We always wanted Patrick to return. He’ll definitely be surfing.”

Surfing, you say. Now that’s some comeback for a star who was only recently given months to live after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. But Illif added:

“Things are going well, he’s fighting the good fight.”

Well, that’s all very well, and, after all, no one puts Swayze in the corner. But it certainly is news to Swayze himself, who revealed in a statement that, though he is responding well to treatment, rumours of a him taking part in Point Break 2 are slightly wide of the mark.

These pampered Hollywood stars!

Everyone is surprised at the announcement that Patrick Swayze is to star in the sequel to Point Break – not least the cancer-stricken actor himself. W. Peter Illiff, who wrote the screenplay for the original 1991 surfing movie, has penned a second instalment, and insists Swayze will return as the bank-robbing surfer Bodhi. He also says Keanu Reeves will return to play the FBI agent sent to track him down. He told US Weekly: "We always wanted Patrick to return. He'll definitely be surfing." Surfing, you say. Now that's some comeback for a star who was only recently given months to live after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. But Illif added: "Things are going well, he's fighting the good fight." Well, that's all very well, and, after all, no one puts Swayze in the corner. But it certainly is news to Swayze himself, who revealed in a statement that, though he is responding well to treatment, rumours of a him taking part in Point Break 2 are slightly wide of the mark. These pampered Hollywood stars!
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