David Schwartz - HecklerSpray

Top Sexiest 20 Movie Babes That Could Kick The Crap Out Of You

September 20th, 2012 By David Schwartz

Is it us or is there something strangely sexy about a girl who could also kick the living crap out of you?

Just us, then? OK, so before we work on our issues with women, let us explain. Sure, in real life, the idea of a huge, 600 stone woman with a black belt in judo is not exactly getting the collective collar hot right now.

But the idea that she can take care of herself and look smokin’ hot while doing it is very appealing. Especially, when we are talking about the movies.?In the movies, we can forgive all.

Top 20 WTF Horror Movie Moments

September 20th, 2012 By David Schwartz

Some horror movies really are shocking. Yep, they are that bad. But there are some that have contain genuine shocks – moments that really make your jaw drop and your toes genuinely curl.

They are rare these days, admittedly. After decades of all kinds of horror movies, the ability to shock viewers has become harder and harder.

We have just about seen every way a ridiculously hard to kill maniac killer with superhero strength can kill a cheerleader. We have usually already guessed who the mystery killer is.

Plus there are only so many times you can watch someone have their insides ripped out by some slavering beast.

Movie Review: Monsters

August 5th, 2012 By David Schwartz

It takes a special skill to turn a movie about 150 foot killer squids from space walking the Earth so bum-numbingly dull.

But rookie director Gareth Edwards somehow manages it. It's hard to believe it's possible, but Monsters is quite simply a monstrous bore.

Why? Because this is not a monster movie at all – it’s far scarier than that. It’s a movie with a monster message.

Top 15 Sexiest Doctor Who Companions

September 20th, 2012 By David Schwartz

Sonic screwdrivers out ? here?s the sexiest Doctor Who companions.

And for those of you who thought the hottest creatures in the universe to follow the Doctor around before Billie Piper was the Daleks, we have some good news ? the 953-year-old has been grooming young hotties for years.

In fact, some are so sexy they have been known to attract the occasional roving eye of even the most mean-hearted Cyberman.

But who are the hottest companions to melt the Doctor?s two hearts? Well, after several evenings armed only with DVD box sets and several boxes of tissues, Hecklerspray has come up with the answer.

Here we go.

Top 15 Bad-Ass Deaths In Zombie Movies

September 20th, 2012 By David Schwartz

Death and zombies, death and zombies – go together like a horse and carriage. Or so Frank Sinatra did not sing, ever.

But he should have done, because they are a great combination.

Like fish and chips or Madonna and the chronic desire to plunge nails into your eyes.

Of course, that’s because zombies are actually dead, but still somehow manage to die again and deal out death.

(Before you start, we know they are actually ‘undead’).

Top 12 Buddy Movies That Make You Feel Warm Inside

September 20th, 2012 By David Schwartz

Today is your lucky day, kind readers, because Hecklerspray wants to be your buddies.

Normally, Hecklerspray feels no such brotherly or sisterly love. In fact, normally we hate everyone. We are more than happy to sit in the pub nursing our pints and growling at anyone who so much as breathes in our direction.

That's what saying unpleasant things about people for a living can do to even the kindest souls.

Top 16 Drinking Movies

September 28th, 2010 By David Schwartz

Beer is the cornerstone of society. In ancient England, people would place their settlements where the best hops grew. And of course, it’s the same all over Europe. And now, beer has been fine-tuned to something approaching real science – and that’s what we learned when we attended the World Draughtmasters Event when we were taught how to pour the perfect pint by Marc Stroobandt.

But unfortunately, we can't just spend all our time in bars. There are times when we have to work, look after children or something. And sometimes you have to write lists about people drinking in bars.

But, of course, the second best thing apart from enjoying a nice alcoholic beverage? is watching other people doing it. Well, actually, it's not at all. It's actually quite annoying, but for the purposes of this list, bear with us.

hecklerspray Gets Tips On How To Pour The Perfect Pint While Displaying Social Ineptitude

September 28th, 2010 By David Schwartz

Belgians take their beer very seriously. If there is one thing hecklerspray has learned this week is to not make a crap joke about it. It’s just not worth it.

But if only I had known that before attending Marc Stroobandt?s masterclass and his nine-step technique to pouring the perfect pint.

Essentially, Marc is a Jedi among bar staff; a Yoda in slip-ons. He is the Beer Whisperer.

Yes, he can make beer talk to him, or something.

Top 22 WTF Zombie Moments

September 15th, 2010 By David Schwartz

Zombies – got to love them. Seeing their slow, shiftless bodies somehow catch up with and eat the brains of their unwitting, fully agile victims never ceases to amaze.

Their grotesque faces, their cold, emotionless eyes and laboured movements ? it's just like watching X Factor, only remarkably not as popular.

We cannot get enough of them. Maybe we secretly want to be one.

Movie Review: Going The Distance

August 5th, 2012 By David Schwartz

Long-distance relationships don’t work ? everyone knows that.

I had one once, it was a lot of hassle, too much travel and involved not nearly enough nookie. And nobody is worth that? Or are they?

It begs the inevitable question: How far would you travel just to see the woman/ man of your dreams? Down the street? To the ends of the earth? Croydon? Personally, if it is any longer than two tubes and a short bus ride, I am making other plans.

But then I am neither Drew Barrymore, who plays Erin, an aspiring journalist, nor Justin Long, a music promoter called Garrett.