The good and not so good.

Folded:

• The Road (not out in the UK until next year, but here is an early review because we can)
• Also coming next year: a game with hats (about time)
• Busting X Factor (vote for Jedward. They’ll win and the whole show will implode)
• Speeding (you might be able to. You are a doctor, right?)
• Emmanuelle Chriqui (hotter than Megan Fox, mainly because, unlike Fox, she doesn’t wear more make-up than your mother)

Creased:

• The singing guy who rips our ears out before, during and after every episode of Scrubs on E4 (we’re not the only ones)
• Jordan’s face (was never normal, but now she looks like Peter Weller, minus helmet, in Robocop)
• Remember…

Digestives and Rich Teas.

Folded:

• Modern Warfare 2: Price War (the supermarket battle royale)
• Salt (reads kinda cack; looks kinda Bourne)
• Planes, Trains and Automobiles (revisit this classic, particularly the sweary rental car bit, and understand why Steve Martin is going to make a hilarious host at next year’s Oscar’s)
• Dark nights (cosy…or cold, lonely and miserable. We’re going with cosy)
• The Greggs (time to reconsider that application form maybe?)

Creased:

• Queuing at midnight to buy Modern Warfare 2 (never has Shaun of the Dead been so vividly recreated in reality. Best to head home, we-thinks)
• “Too much of anything can you make you sick” (thank you, Cheryl, you finally get it)
• Spiced apple everything (candles, biscuits, shower gel, beer – you…

Cool uncle and embarrassing aunt.

Folded:

• The Chase from Midnight Express – Club Version (very Berlin. Then again you could remix Giorgio Moroder’s alarm clock and make a decent track)
• Films on the telly (why are they always more fun than putting on a DVD?)
• Be miserable (doctor’s orders)
• Donut Drake in Uncharted 2 (such a laugh climbing on the wrecked train and the pipes break)
• New Avatar trailer (we can stop sweating, this actually looks pretty good now)

Creased:

• Prince of Persia movie trailer (they’re thinking Pirates; they’re getting Hercules)
• Fireworks… (do THIS. Not nice)
• 50 Cent (officially plastic)
• Greg James (the worst DJ Radio One has ever employed. And that’s saying something)
• Hackers (why do they get such a cool nickname? Let’s call them bottom feeding…

Right and wrong.

Folded:

• Flashback by Calvin Harris (the definition of a ditty. Annoy yourself for liking it)
• Halloween: Vampires (only really frightening if you fear teenagers)
• Burger King ‘Tub Burger’ (or ‘Windows 7’ according to the PR. Looks delicious)
• Zombieland (shouldn’t be compared to Shaun of the Dead, but it will be. Plus, whisper it, it might be funnier too)
• Give in to Twitter (join late; you’ll be glad you did. What with this and Facebook, and even MySpace if you’re really bored, you need never work again)

Creased:

• Pork Pie hat (don’t be tempted. Trust us, you can’t wear one. Only Popeye Doyle can)
• TJ Hooker (Shatner as a police PT instructor? Even his stuntman doesn’t…

Star Wars and Clone Wars.

Folded:

• Uncharted 2: Among Thieves (zip-line! The train! The mountains! Holy crap!)
• Batman bike leathers (these are either too cool for school or too sad for words. Not sure yet)
• A ‘state of the art film centre for London’s South Bank’ (so we can’t really afford £45 million quid at the moment, but what else is new?)
• The kid in THIS PRAM (…will have the best story to tell when he gets older. Pity he won’t remember any of it)
• Awkwardfamilyphotos.com (very funny, so long as you don’t see yourself on there)

Creased:

• Life after Uncharted 2 (too upsetting to think about. Alcoholism maybe?)
• The Twilight Saga: New Moon (is anyone over…

This week’s uppers and downers.

Folded:

• Clothes on Film (cool site about clothes in movies. Goodness the editor is handsome)
• Edge of Darkness (Gibbo’s back like it’s 1995)
• David Lean in Close-Up with Jonathan Ross (BBC4, the only reason we pay a licence fee)
• Champagne price drop: pour it on your cereal (by Christmas a bottle of Moët will cost £15, or thereabouts. Possibly)
• Damien Hirst’s return to painting (critics say rubbish, so who cares what we think? It will irritate the hell out of people and that’s good enough for us)

Creased:

• PlayTV (you lose Freeview channels and the crappy PS3 remote can’t adjust volume on your telly. Nice menus though)
• Leona Lewis getting a…

Can and can’t do attitude.

Folded:

• Rito a Los Angeles by Giuseppe De Luca (featured near the end of Ocean’s Twelve all those years ago. You’ll want to rob someone in a ridiculously stylised way when you hear it. Or maybe just buy the record. Buy the record, that’s best)
• National Lampoon’s reboot (no, no, this is a terrible idea, but Chevy Chase and Beverly D’Angelo are slated to appear and that’s movie news of the year)
• ‘Holiday Roa oa oa oa oa oa oa oa oa oad!’ (on Five this week and last. See above)
• Gamer (if you didn’t like Crank you won’t like this, but if you did you will. Savvy?)
• Glee (not been…

Holidays and mini-breaks.

Folded:

• The BBC (for having the good sense to show Point Break last Sunday as a Patrick Swayze tribute. Roadhouse next please)
• Slovenia (radical)
• Free Batman: Arkham Asylum downloads (only map packs, but they are gratis so stop complaining)
• Saturday morning at the movies (just you and the rest of the loners, but an entire screen nearly all to yourself. Don’t see Fame though, people will think you’re doing stuff)
• Charlie Brooker’s Gameswipe (He’s done it again, he’s made Bad Influence ‘09)

Creased:

• Cheapo post-it notes (if they don’t say ‘Post-It’ on the back and they cost £2.00 for 400 then they won’t stick to anything more challenging than a flat horizontal surface)
• Dappy (one third of N-Dubz. The one…