Cool uncle and embarrassing aunt.

Folded:

• The Chase from Midnight Express – Club Version (very Berlin. Then again you could remix Giorgio Moroder’s alarm clock and make a decent track)
• Films on the telly (why are they always more fun than putting on a DVD?)
• Be miserable (doctor’s orders)
• Donut Drake in Uncharted 2 (such a laugh climbing on the wrecked train and the pipes break)
• New Avatar trailer (we can stop sweating, this actually looks pretty good now)

Creased:

• Prince of Persia movie trailer (they’re thinking Pirates; they’re getting Hercules)
• Fireworks… (do THIS. Not nice)
• 50 Cent (officially plastic)
• Greg James (the worst DJ Radio One has ever employed. And that’s saying something)
• Hackers (why do they get such a cool nickname? Let’s call them bottom feeding…

Right and wrong.

Folded:

• Flashback by Calvin Harris (the definition of a ditty. Annoy yourself for liking it)
• Halloween: Vampires (only really frightening if you fear teenagers)
• Burger King ‘Tub Burger’ (or ‘Windows 7’ according to the PR. Looks delicious)
• Zombieland (shouldn’t be compared to Shaun of the Dead, but it will be. Plus, whisper it, it might be funnier too)
• Give in to Twitter (join late; you’ll be glad you did. What with this and Facebook, and even MySpace if you’re really bored, you need never work again)

Creased:

• Pork Pie hat (don’t be tempted. Trust us, you can’t wear one. Only Popeye Doyle can)
• TJ Hooker (Shatner as a police PT instructor? Even his stuntman doesn’t…

Star Wars and Clone Wars.

Folded:

• Uncharted 2: Among Thieves (zip-line! The train! The mountains! Holy crap!)
• Batman bike leathers (these are either too cool for school or too sad for words. Not sure yet)
• A ‘state of the art film centre for London’s South Bank’ (so we can’t really afford £45 million quid at the moment, but what else is new?)
• The kid in THIS PRAM (…will have the best story to tell when he gets older. Pity he won’t remember any of it)
• Awkwardfamilyphotos.com (very funny, so long as you don’t see yourself on there)

Creased:

• Life after Uncharted 2 (too upsetting to think about. Alcoholism maybe?)
• The Twilight Saga: New Moon (is anyone over…

This week’s uppers and downers.

Folded:

• Clothes on Film (cool site about clothes in movies. Goodness the editor is handsome)
• Edge of Darkness (Gibbo’s back like it’s 1995)
• David Lean in Close-Up with Jonathan Ross (BBC4, the only reason we pay a licence fee)
• Champagne price drop: pour it on your cereal (by Christmas a bottle of Moët will cost £15, or thereabouts. Possibly)
• Damien Hirst’s return to painting (critics say rubbish, so who cares what we think? It will irritate the hell out of people and that’s good enough for us)

Creased:

• PlayTV (you lose Freeview channels and the crappy PS3 remote can’t adjust volume on your telly. Nice menus though)
• Leona Lewis getting a…

Can and can’t do attitude.

Folded:

• Rito a Los Angeles by Giuseppe De Luca (featured near the end of Ocean’s Twelve all those years ago. You’ll want to rob someone in a ridiculously stylised way when you hear it. Or maybe just buy the record. Buy the record, that’s best)
• National Lampoon’s reboot (no, no, this is a terrible idea, but Chevy Chase and Beverly D’Angelo are slated to appear and that’s movie news of the year)
• ‘Holiday Roa oa oa oa oa oa oa oa oa oad!’ (on Five this week and last. See above)
• Gamer (if you didn’t like Crank you won’t like this, but if you did you will. Savvy?)
• Glee (not been…

Holidays and mini-breaks.

Folded:

• The BBC (for having the good sense to show Point Break last Sunday as a Patrick Swayze tribute. Roadhouse next please)
• Slovenia (radical)
• Free Batman: Arkham Asylum downloads (only map packs, but they are gratis so stop complaining)
• Saturday morning at the movies (just you and the rest of the loners, but an entire screen nearly all to yourself. Don’t see Fame though, people will think you’re doing stuff)
• Charlie Brooker’s Gameswipe (He’s done it again, he’s made Bad Influence ‘09)

Creased:

• Cheapo post-it notes (if they don’t say ‘Post-It’ on the back and they cost £2.00 for 400 then they won’t stick to anything more challenging than a flat horizontal surface)
• Dappy (one third of N-Dubz. The one…

Pounds and pence.

Folded:

• Starting university (if you’re going you should have gone last week. Hope you’re enjoying yourselves)
• Sugababes split! (well one of them leaves and another joins, but it’s a start)
• Picnics (okay so it’s getting a bit cold now, but there is no better way to spend forty quid on food you have to make yourself. It’s rewarding or something)
• District 9 (just make sure you watch reading any reviews)
• White Lies (Rusko’s Euphoria Mix) by Mr Hudson (damn near irresistible beat)

Creased:

• The Love of Money: The Age of Risk (thanks to BBC 2’s programme last week for telling us how rich we used to be. Yep, it was champagne for lunch…

Bad times…

• ‘The Swizzle’ (put Road House on and remember Patrick Swayze in the worst at his best. “My way… or the highway”)
• Put this in front of any url (why? Because laughing at Kanye West is fun)
• Troy Kennedy Martin (died this week and he wrote the screenplay for The Italian Job, so that’s definitely earned him a mention)
• Keith Floyd (heart attack. Drink some wine and remember this guy too)
• Pirates of the Caribbean 4 actually sounds like it could be quite good (probably won’t be though)

• Kanye West (second Creased appearance this month for the mini-man even Diddy thinks is a pillock)
• Reece’s Pieces (like peanut M&M’s that have gone off)
• Serena Williams (nice controlled behaviour for the 28…