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Ok. So hecklerspray is still in its infancy. But – let’s be honest – we’re all grown-up enough now to start our own ‘campaign.’ Aren’t we? Well?
Daniel Bedingfield. He called his album Second First Impressions. Let’s do something about him…
Ah. It’s the most wonderful time of the year again. The time when arse-brained hormone-slaves dredge out their unwarranted sentiment and spew it across the media like a big heart-shaped pus discharge.
Example: Channel Four’s 100 Greatest Tearjerkers. A Christ-numbingly bad compilation which just goes to show that the British Viewing Public has all the emotional sophisication of a thirteen-year-old schoolgirl screaming over ‘DUUUNNNNCAAAANNNN!!!!!’ from Blue.
Beaches. ET. Terms Of Endearment. Ghost. These were all in the Top Ten. These films. Not Shoah (nine-hour film about Holocaust Survivors that everybody on the planet should see). Not Little Bobby Kennedy saluting his dear…
God bless you, Daily Star. Just when the world thought it could breathe a little easier … just when the situation in the Middle East looked like it might be making some peaceful progress … another devastating conflict has arisen. Dear Christ.
Apparently, whilst being interviewed about her upcoming wedding to turd-with-pecs Peter Andre, Jordan coldn’t help but let her simmering rivalry with fellow blonde Jodie Marsh boil to the surface. According to Jordan, poor old Jodie ’stinks’ and had ‘better start washing’ – information which she claims is from a ‘very good source.’ Prospective husband Peter was unable to comment…
Dear Dennis,
I think I’m falling apart. I’m so desperately lonely and tired. My love life is a mess – no woman will even look at me. My career is a joke and I feel like a failure. Every night I pray my torment will end. I’m so unhappy. Can you please help? Please?
John, Northampton
Dennis replies:
I’ve always said that in the land of cock-ups, the man with a nearby script assistant is king! Now take a look at Martin Clunes in this assortment from the cutting room floor, which shows that – in the already unpredictable world of acting – even…
It’s the first Chris Morris TV project since the infamous – and ingenious – Brass Eye Special of 2001. Yet even hardcore devotees of the controversial media terrorist are raising their oh-so-sceptical eyebrows at latest offering Nathan Barley.
Has his reign as the darling of UK counter-culture finally come to a sputtering, Office-lite anti-climax as the naysayers are claiming? Check the results for your grubby selves – Friday, 10pm, Channel Four. Needless to say Hecklerspray will soon be forming an ‘opinion’.
Shocking bit of cultural lagging, this. Having soared through the suicide of guitarist Jimmi Lawrence to create orchestral rock masterpiece The Lost Riots,Chichester’s finest Hope Of The States have failed to gather a single – that’s right, a single – nomination for the upcoming NME awards. This from a publication that called the album ‘expansive, cinematic and full of majesty.’
So what’s the deal? The overhyped Franz Ferdinand make their obligatory appearance, as do the similarly ubiquitous Razorlight. Short-sighted editorial decision or the work of a tragically clueless voting public? Whatever you may think, the awards take place in London on February 17. Expect…
