The Sims 3? Bah.

It’s a video game, yeah. And video games are awesome – skull-explodingly, ‘boom-motherfucker-headshot’-yellingly, firebombing alien warlord palace excitingly, cacking-your-pants-when-the-Tank-runs-at-you in Left 4 Dead terrifyingly, utterly utterly brilliant.

When they’re good.

When they’re bad? They’re The Sims. The bleeding Sims. Ferchrissakes, Hecklerspray doesn’t want ORDINARY PEOPLE in our video games. We can see ordinary people when we go outside. And going outside scares us. So, so much.

The internet can move at a phenomenal pace sometimes. Why, no sooner has hecklerspray twittered ‘I’m outside your window with a pair of binoculars and a dagger’ to an ex-girlfriend than the police are called and we all have a good old chuckle about the misunderstanding. In court.

Anyway – further proof of this ultra-speedy Web 2.0 culture is the previously-webthumped Keyboard Cat. No sooner has someone uploaded a video of their cat being ‘manipulated’ to look like it is playing a zippy keyboard tune (which, as YouTube content goes, is already roughly sixteen-billion times better than the standard ‘why Muse matter more…

Sometimes things can be so misjudged.

Take that anti-drink-driving campaign from about ten years back. Remember the one? Some bloke called Dave was in the pub with his mates, who were urging him to sink another pint with the refrain “just one more, Dave.” In the next scene, Dave has a horrific car crash and is reduced to a bedridden vegetable being fed slop by his mother – who, in aSwiftian twist of irony, tries to feed him a spoonful with the refrain “just one more, Dave.”

Generation Y was lied to about the future, sure – still no Back To The Future style hoverboards, people – but just think about how the poor bastards who came of age in the 1950s and 60s must feel. Every single thing they read and heard was some wide-eyed appraisal of how, one day, we’d all be donning magic space pants and leg-jiggling our way to the Neptune High School prom.

It’s heartbreaking on an epic scale, then, to realise that 99% of the predictions made just didn’t come true. Like this fine little fella from a 1951 edition of Mechanix Illustrated –…

A double-whammy of commercial goodness for you today.

Yeah, yeah, it’s almost the end of January, 2009 has kicked in in earnest, and frankly you can’t be bothered sticking to an arbitrary plan you made to shed those pounds (simply because you managed to convince yourself for a brief second that this year might not be as soul-crushingly disappointing as the last one, and that your ambitions and schemes might actually work out without being shredded apart like so much worthless confetti)?

Awww, who are we to lecture you? What you need is the help of the good people behind AYDS.…

Abominable third-rate mindless drivel? Absolutely. But don’t pretend you won’t be watching when it ends up on T4.

Wikipedia, eh?

Sure, sure – it’s pretty good. It’s got that whole ‘democratised, innovative, flawed yet genuinely revolutionary source of information’ thing going for it. But you know what it’s missing? Creationist rhetoric spouting forth like smelly Bible-piss, that’s what.

Thank the seven arses of Aslan, then, for CreationWiki. Now you too can find out about anything you want with a unique Creationist edge, free from the tyranny of such nasty things as logic, reason, accountability and common sense. Yay!

Seriously – unless you’ve got all day to waste by clicking from article to article and shaking your head in amused disbelief, we’d leave this site well alone. If, however, your life is as empty as ours, then knock yourself out! We’ve given you the starting point of the Dinosaur entry.

Have fun.

You know what Disturbing Friday Fun is by now – an occasional end-of-week feature in which we present you with something alarming, unusual or downright baffling from some random corner of the interweb. And you’ll probably also be aware that we usually like to ease you in with a explanatory couple of paragraphs. Just, y’know, to set the scene.

This week? We don’t know what to say. Seriously, people … we’ve got nothing. Other than to say this is the oddest thing we have ever linked to. Ever.

Just watch.