Bored of sitting on their arses in separate palaces, eating swan pate and beating servants, the Queen, Kate Middleton and Camilla Parker Bowles decided to go on a raucous girls? night out at Fortnum & Mason’s, where they ate indestructible biscuits, and Kate practiced her bending down to smile at children skills.
Once inside, away from the cameras, we can only assume that various nubile members of Fortnums staff were forced to strip naked and throw foie gras at each other while the royal wenches laughed and laughed.
All wearing blue jackets to cover their crudely printed ?Windsor Gals ON THA LASH!? t-shirts, they embarked on a short meet and greet where Kate Middleton smiled at literally four or five carefully selected cute children, and Camilla managed to go ten minutes without actually snarling at anyone, which is nice.