Clive Owen plays the role of carefree Australian sports writer, Joe Warr in this emotionally heavy drama about parenthood and rediscovering youth.

When the tragic death of his wife leaves him in the shoes of a single parent with two rebellious kids, Joe goes about trying to raise his boys the sensible way, and failing miserably. There’s only one thing a man can do in Joe’s situation. Say Yes.

Director Scott Hicks and Miramax bring you a touching story about growing up, no matter how old you are. Family chaos meets living in dad’s house for a fuzzy film suited to  those…

Derek Thomson is what you’d call an asshole.

As a hard-hitting hockey pro and full-time meathead, Derek (Played by Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson) rules his life and family with a massive ego and an extra dose of spite.

What goes around, comes around…

So much for a Boyzone reunion folks.

Stephen Gately is busy working his boyish charms on St Peter while the rest of us bicker over puke, speculative evidence and an oddly-placed Bulgarian.

The Majorca Press recently felt the need to suggest that Steve was smoking ‘cannabis’ the night before he died and ‘knew that was not the cause of his death’. Now there’s a strange breed of paparazzo: ‘I know amigos, let’s take the bastard out of the death-crouch and crucify him, never mind relevance! Por Favor! We’re the Spanish Inquisition, and by the way, we’re trained doctors too.’

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Here’s a drama for the ‘thinking man’.

The type of thinker who spends most of his life in an office cubicle or the business class lounge. If you can bear to watch this trailer then your boredom threshold is astounding. George Clooney stars in this depressing corporate slog as a faceless American bureaucrat doing God knows what and travelling God knows where. God knows who this sort of rubbish would appeal to, but maybe we’re wrong. Maybe some fantastic moral message (or plot) is stapled to the back of a 90-page report or hidden at the bottom of a frothy cafe…

What’s that smell?

Could it be the subtle scent of talentless TV exploitation, the overwhelming fragrance of WAG or the clover-hinted odour of small-man’s syndrome? Freshen up like a pointless media middleman with four new fragrances from X Factor. You’re bound to get lucky if you smell like a TV talent show judge, and nothing says ‘I love you’ like rating your partner’s performance in the sack.

No, really, the X Factor judges are all getting their own perfumes. You’ll be able to buy them in time for Christmas and everything.

Michael Caine is the original British badass…

The 73-year-old legend isn’t getting any softer with age, especially when a gang of anti-social yobs murders his best friend. Harry Brown is an OAP on the warpath in a tale of urban misery and gang-related violence. The painful realism of Daniel Barber’s Britain will give you the shivers as you watch Harry buy a gun, punish wayward youngsters and throw his conscience to the lions as he walks a path of murder and revenge. Want to see the real England? Harry Brown gives you a beating, throws you in the gutter and shows you…

THE Final Destination FINALLY tops off a pointless trilogy of “Oh my God! I escaped death and now it wants to kill me” films and in 3D, no less.

There is absolutely no change to the plot from the original three films. Four teens escape a racecourse holocaust after one of them has a vision of the catastrophe, moments before it happens.

The end of the world is here.

Random cataclysms and natural disasters have punished the earth and humanity are all but extinct. But never fear, Viggo Mortensen survives, and he’s looking to to get to the coast with his son, except a bloodthirsty gang of rednecks decides to hound him every step of the way. Based on Cormac McCarthy’s Pulitzer Prize novel, The Road.