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586 MEDIA

No Sex For Paris Hilton This Year

by 586 MEDIA

Well, it’s official. We’ve all been wrong about Paris Hilton. She isn’t the oversexed, wonky-eyed rumpy-pumpy punter we all though she was. In fact, Paris Hilton is really a shining example of innocence.

Paris Hilton recently told British GQ magazine that she’s swearing off sex for the next year – and she’s also made another fine admission; that she’s only ever had sex with two men. Which our office calculator works out as a 50% actual sex/internet sex hit-rate, and for that Paris Hilton should be heartily congratulated.

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This Week’s Singles! Paris Hilton! Frank! Horrors!

by 586 MEDIA

Paris Hilton
Stars Are Blind
Wea

Paris Hilton – heiress, Heat staple, (home) movie star – has been threatening to launch a singing career for almost two years now. In fact, the Paris album had become something of an urban legend, even starting to rival the age-old rumour that Jamie Lee Curtis is actually, y’know, a hairy great fella. So it comes as a bit of a surprise in July 2006 to find her peddling a rather lovely slice of sun-soaked, pissed-on-the-beach reggae pop. So what if Stars Are Blind bears more than a passing resemblance to reggae classic Kingston Town? So what if her vocal performance is the least convincing since Patsy Kensit trilled her way through I’m Not Scared? And so what if her upcoming cover of Do Ya Think I’m Sexy is enough to have us waking up in a cold sweat begging for a Lisa Scott-Lee comeback? Right now Stars Are Blind is the perfect summer pop single, and we’re not ashamed to admit that we’re bloody loving it.

All kinds of funky-ass singles reviews after the jump, from Boy Kill Boy, Raconteurs, The Hedrons, TV On The Radio, The Common Redstarts, Frank, The Horrors and Panic! At The Disco…

Paris Hilton Stars Are Blind Wea Paris Hilton - heiress, Heat staple, (home) movie star - has been threatening to launch a singing career for almost two years now. In fact, the Paris album had become something of an urban legend, even starting to rival the age-old rumour that Jamie Lee Curtis is actually, y’know, a hairy great fella. So it comes as a bit of a surprise in July 2006 to find her peddling a rather lovely slice of sun-soaked, pissed-on-the-beach reggae pop. So what if Stars Are Blind bears more than a passing resemblance to reggae classic Kingston Town? So what if her vocal performance is the least convincing since Patsy Kensit trilled her way through I’m Not Scared? And so what if her upcoming cover of Do Ya Think I’m Sexy is enough to have us waking up in a cold sweat begging for a Lisa Scott-Lee comeback? Right now Stars Are Blind is the perfect summer pop single, and we’re not ashamed to admit that we’re bloody loving it. All kinds of funky-ass singles reviews after the jump, from Boy Kill Boy, Raconteurs, The Hedrons, TV On The Radio, The Common Redstarts, Frank, The Horrors and Panic! At The Disco...
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This Week’s Singles: Madonna! Pet Shop Boys! Aguilera!

by 586 MEDIA

Madonna
Get Together
Warner

“Do you believe in love at first sight? It’s an illusion; I don’t care,” is a fairly inane pop lyric but, surrounded by the pulsating Gallic disco of Get Together, it sounds utterly life-affirming. The third single from Madonna’s Career Salvation on a Dancefloor album – released to coincide with the European leg of her arena-raping tour – recalls Stardust’s Music Sounds Better With You thanks to its thumping bass line and transcendent, arms-in-the-air chorus. Sexual icon, queen of the dancefloor, H&M designer: is there nothing Mrs Ritchie can’t do?*

*Except, of course, act.

Brace yourself for a veritable attack of singles reviews, from Pet Shop Boys, Forward, Russia, Snow Patrol, Ray Lamontagne and Christina Aguilera, all after the jump…

Madonna Get Together Warner "Do you believe in love at first sight? It’s an illusion; I don’t care," is a fairly inane pop lyric but, surrounded by the pulsating Gallic disco of Get Together, it sounds utterly life-affirming. The third single from Madonna’s Career Salvation on a Dancefloor album - released to coincide with the European leg of her arena-raping tour - recalls Stardust’s Music Sounds Better With You thanks to its thumping bass line and transcendent, arms-in-the-air chorus. Sexual icon, queen of the dancefloor, H&M designer: is there nothing Mrs Ritchie can’t do?* *Except, of course, act. Brace yourself for a veritable attack of singles reviews, from Pet Shop Boys, Forward, Russia, Snow Patrol, Ray Lamontagne and Christina Aguilera, all after the jump...
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This Week’s Singles: McFly! Rihanna! Gnarls Barkley!

by 586 MEDIA

McFly
Please Please
Universal

McFly’s cheeky chappie amiability has taken them a long way. Two chart-topping albums, eight top ten singles and a role in a Hollywood film isn’t bad going for a band that’s never come close to matching Busted’s charisma and ear for melody. New single Please Please namechecks the boys’ Just My Luck co-star Lindsay Lohan – well, you gotta keep that Did She Really Shag The Drummer rumour alive somehow, don’t you? – and wears its 50s rock ‘n’ roll influences on its sleeve. It’s as pert and perfectly-formed as Lohan’s buttocks but, unfortunately, as memorable as her role in Herbie Fully Loaded. Next time around, boys, why don’t you try writing something that doesn’t sound as though it belongs in a Happy Days prom scene?

And after the jump, more singles reviews from Rihanna, Gnarls Barkley, She Wants Revenge, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Performance, James Morrison and Gary Numan. You’re welcome…

McFly Please Please Universal McFly’s cheeky chappie amiability has taken them a long way. Two chart-topping albums, eight top ten singles and a role in a Hollywood film isn’t bad going for a band that’s never come close to matching Busted’s charisma and ear for melody. New single Please Please namechecks the boys’ Just My Luck co-star Lindsay Lohan - well, you gotta keep that Did She Really Shag The Drummer rumour alive somehow, don’t you? - and wears its 50s rock ‘n’ roll influences on its sleeve. It’s as pert and perfectly-formed as Lohan’s buttocks but, unfortunately, as memorable as her role in Herbie Fully Loaded. Next time around, boys, why don’t you try writing something that doesn’t sound as though it belongs in a Happy Days prom scene? And after the jump, more singles reviews from Rihanna, Gnarls Barkley, She Wants Revenge, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Performance, James Morrison and Gary Numan. You're welcome...
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This Week’s Singles: Rogue Traders! Jim Noir! Shack!

by 586 MEDIA

Rogue Traders
Voodoo Child
BMG

You know Izzy from Neighbours, right? The tart without a heart who split up Ramsay Street’s golden couple Karl and Susan? Well, even if you don’t, you’ve doubtless spotted her killer cleavage while flicking over from a dull segment about war postcards on Richard and Judy. Anyway, the actress who plays this legendary bitch – Natalie Bassingthwaighte, we believe they call her – is now fronting Aussie electro-rock band Rogue Traders. Trivia fans might like to know they’ve just scored a triple platinum album over in Strewth-Mate-Put-Some-More-Shrimps-On-The-Barbie-Land. Voodoo Child is a dirty great slab of dance-rock, built around a re-recorded riff from Elvis Costello’s Pump It Up, and properly sold by a persuasively hammy vocal from Bassingthwaighte. Like one of those hand-held fans you get in Woolies, it’s cheap, disposable and absolutely essential this summer.

More singles reviews after the jump, you lucky bleeders, from Jim Noir, Shayne Ward, Shack, Webb Sisters, Mogwai, Tapes n’ Tapes, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah and Dirty Pretty Things…

Rogue Traders Voodoo Child BMG You know Izzy from Neighbours, right? The tart without a heart who split up Ramsay Street’s golden couple Karl and Susan? Well, even if you don’t, you’ve doubtless spotted her killer cleavage while flicking over from a dull segment about war postcards on Richard and Judy. Anyway, the actress who plays this legendary bitch - Natalie Bassingthwaighte, we believe they call her - is now fronting Aussie electro-rock band Rogue Traders. Trivia fans might like to know they’ve just scored a triple platinum album over in Strewth-Mate-Put-Some-More-Shrimps-On-The-Barbie-Land. Voodoo Child is a dirty great slab of dance-rock, built around a re-recorded riff from Elvis Costello’s Pump It Up, and properly sold by a persuasively hammy vocal from Bassingthwaighte. Like one of those hand-held fans you get in Woolies, it’s cheap, disposable and absolutely essential this summer. More singles reviews after the jump, you lucky bleeders, from Jim Noir, Shayne Ward, Shack, Webb Sisters, Mogwai, Tapes n' Tapes, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah and Dirty Pretty Things...
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This Week’s Singles: Pipettes! Lily Allen! Er, Razorlight!

by 586 MEDIA

The Pipettes
Pull Shapes
Memphis Industries

“I just wanna move; I don’t care what the song’s about” is perhaps the best pop lyric ever. Or, if we’re being more precise, the most pop pop lyric ever. Such a perfect distillation of that sticky old liquor we call popular music is what we’ve come to expect from Brighton’s Pipettes – equal parts polka dots, hands-on-hips sex appeal and endless legs – who cracked the top forty in April with the 60s doo-wop channelling Your Kisses Are Wasted On Me. New single Pull Shapes is almost as good: a veritable hat-stand of hooks, a great girl-group melody and some lovely melodramatic strings to add to the period charm. Listen, swoon and then buy that polka dot tie.

There’s more; oh, there’s more. Singles reviews for Lily Allen, Razorlight, Paolo Nutini, Jamie T and George Michael all after the jump…

The Pipettes Pull Shapes Memphis Industries “I just wanna move; I don’t care what the song’s about” is perhaps the best pop lyric ever. Or, if we’re being more precise, the most pop pop lyric ever. Such a perfect distillation of that sticky old liquor we call popular music is what we’ve come to expect from Brighton’s Pipettes - equal parts polka dots, hands-on-hips sex appeal and endless legs - who cracked the top forty in April with the 60s doo-wop channelling Your Kisses Are Wasted On Me. New single Pull Shapes is almost as good: a veritable hat-stand of hooks, a great girl-group melody and some lovely melodramatic strings to add to the period charm. Listen, swoon and then buy that polka dot tie. There's more; oh, there's more. Singles reviews for Lily Allen, Razorlight, Paolo Nutini, Jamie T and George Michael all after the jump...
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MySpace Trawl – King Creosote

by 586 MEDIA

This week, MySpace Trawl offers something totally different to our previous discoveries. We’ve gone off the electronica-edged artists and this week’s offer is some good old Scottish folk music. King Creosote be his name, and Fife is where his lovely music is made.

We can imagine what you’re thinking. Folk music! Boo! That’s not very hip or cool. Folk music is what 50-year-old men listen to whilst they sit round campfires late at night and sing about saving the earth from its immediate threat. Hopefully by the end of this, you’ll come to realise it’s not like that at all.

Kenny Anderson, aka King Creosote is someone who’s not at all new to the music world. For over a decade now he’s been making music in various ways, be it on his own, as part of bands, or overseeing it. Mr Creosote set up and runs the Fence record label, housing some of the finest names in folk music.

This week, MySpace Trawl offers something totally different to our previous discoveries. We’ve gone off the electronica-edged artists and this week's offer is some good old Scottish folk music. King Creosote be his name, and Fife is where his lovely music is made. We can imagine what you’re thinking. Folk music! Boo! That’s not very hip or cool. Folk music is what 50-year-old men listen to whilst they sit round campfires late at night and sing about saving the earth from its immediate threat. Hopefully by the end of this, you’ll come to realise it’s not like that at all. Kenny Anderson, aka King Creosote is someone who’s not at all new to the music world. For over a decade now he’s been making music in various ways, be it on his own, as part of bands, or overseeing it. Mr Creosote set up and runs the Fence record label, housing some of the finest names in folk music.
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MySpace Trawl – Marshall Watson

by 586 MEDIA

This week’s MySpace trawl through the vastness of rubbish music leads us to Seattle, Washington where we have discovered Marshall Watson.

It may same as strange to you as it does to us, but an American making electronic music? Crikey, who would have thought that happened over there? Here at hecklerspray towers, we all just assumed that our buddies across the pond just listened to the Dixie Chicks, 50 Cent and Beyonce. Looks like we’re wrong again. Like usual.

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MySpace Trawl: Gay Against You

by 586 MEDIA

Like most people with a computer, we’ve all got one of these MySpace accounts where you can see how popular you are against everyone else in the world. For instance, look at Tom, we don’t even know who he is, but he likes us and is our friend. So that makes us feel special.

Here at hecklerspray, we can’t be arsed with people winging for us to like them. We know what we like and don’t like. So we’ve decided to take a stance against the overwhelming amount of crap bands who constantly spam with their rubbish music and offers of friendship. In an attempt to guide you towards the goodness of unsigned acts and people we think deserve more recognition, here’s MySpace Trawl; where we show you that there is some decent stuff in the world of MySpace.

The first band we’ve discovered hail from Glasgow, and we don’t just like them because of their name. Gay Against You are a duo who make music that can only be described as breaking the boundaries between electronic music and total chaos. Forget all your rubbish pop dance music that samples Michael Jackson. Gay Against You use something else to create the sounds they make. Gameboys.

Like most people with a computer, we’ve all got one of these MySpace accounts where you can see how popular you are against everyone else in the world. For instance, look at Tom, we don’t even know who he is, but he likes us and is our friend. So that makes us feel special. Here at hecklerspray, we can’t be arsed with people winging for us to like them. We know what we like and don’t like. So we’ve decided to take a stance against the overwhelming amount of crap bands who constantly spam with their rubbish music and offers of friendship. In an attempt to guide you towards the goodness of unsigned acts and people we think deserve more recognition, here's MySpace Trawl; where we show you that there is some decent stuff in the world of MySpace. The first band we’ve discovered hail from Glasgow, and we don't just like them because of their name. Gay Against You are a duo who make music that can only be described as breaking the boundaries between electronic music and total chaos. Forget all your rubbish pop dance music that samples Michael Jackson. Gay Against You use something else to create the sounds they make. Gameboys.
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We Like Blah Blah Blah

by 586 MEDIA

There are a lot of people from Essex who aren’t chavs, and Blah Blah Blah are a fine example. In their current state as a two-piece Blah Blah Blah are Loughton’s answer to Nizlopi. Anti-chav, and anti-indie disco. But then they’re such nice guys, they probably aren’t anti-anything.

Discovering great new music (of the refreshing and genuinely good kind) is usually a happy accident these days, rather than having someone ranting on about it. So forgive us for stopping to rant about it here. They’re the very same reasons that people urged us to check out these guys who come with the memorable name of Blah Blah Blah.

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