I mean, realistically I could be referring to any cast member from The Hills when I make a title like that, but in this particular instance I’m referring to Heidi and Spencer Pratt: the couple that make Kris Jenner look media shy.
Speidi, as they are often known, recently announced they were pregnant in the only way couples like them and Tori and Dean know how: via an UsWeekly photoshoot so they can hopefully pay their rent that month.
Heidi and Spencer did a sit down interview with UsWeekly and Spencer said when Heidi initially came in the room to tell him the good news, he knew something was up:
The look on her face. I can’t even describe it. She was literally glowing. I thought she was about to say she made muffins of banana bread.
First of all, I assume Heidi is always glowing because of all the shit she had injected into her face. Secondly, I think Spencer meant to say BOUGHT muffins or banana bread, because there’s no way that bitch bakes.
To come back to Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott (I think that’s his last name) again, I really don’t understand couples like this who intentionally have kids. You know, those couples who were once famous and are now just terribly in debt because they have no talent, but still want to live life like they’re famous so refuse to find an affordable house and end up being sued constantly because they can’t pay their bills so they figure “Hey! Let’s have a kid!” because those jerks at UsWeekly will LEGIT buy any exclusive ever. Boom. Pay cheque.
Like, how can Heidi and Spencer afford a child? Neither of them have done anything since The Hills ended and last time I checked Spencer was selling healing crystals online. No part of me is fucking with you on that. He legit blew his money on crystals and now he sells them online, and Heidi blew all her money on plastic surgery, and now these two assholes are going to have a kid and UsWeekly is giving them the fucking cover for it.
THIS us what is wrong with America.