Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore have been oddly silent while everyone looks on, suspecting that the Two And A Half Men’er stuck his wotsit into a young lady when he should’ve been buying Milk Tray on their wedding anniversary.
For a normally talkative twosome, this silence has only added fuel to the fire that says? they’ve decided to call it a day, leaving Demi to quote Greek philosophers and Kutcher to work out the impossible logistics of Moore’s boobs.
BUT JUST YOU HANG ON A MINUTE! There’s more to this story! It appears religion is getting involved too! How incredibly convenient!
Despite the fact a photograph has appeared online, showing Kutcher riding in a car with someone who looks very much like Sara Leal, who has been saying that she bafflingly and willingly took the erect member of Ashton Kutcher, this F-List duo are still not prepared to talk.
Instead, they’re sending all their meandering, simpleton daydreams to some false God.
Last year, when there were some rumours that this pointless pair were on the rocks, they made a pilgrimage to Israel. This year, with the same thing happening again, the couple have been spotted attending a spiritual session at the Kabbalah Center in Los Angeles.
At this Kabbalah session (which we don’t have the first clue about. We’re assuming that it involves sitting silently in a room and trying not to fart), both Kutcher and Moore were seen dressed in “appropriate attire” (or, suits of armour made from duck legs) and very much wearing their wedding rings (carved out of mallard eye-sockets).
What they’re not doing is posting the usual saccharine dross to each other, which normally pollutes their twitter feeds.
Basically, they’re either playing dumb and revelling in the attention in one ghastly PR stunt for Two And A Half Men or, indeed, Kutcher has been caught with his pants down.
Whatever the outcome, there’s no hiding from the fact that both of these humans are entirely useless creatures taking up valuable space on our meagre planet.
At least they’ve got a fictional god though, eh?
Ashton he is still following his secret account http://twitter.com/unmaskd though not many people know that. This is the best kept secret of this drama.