He’s the world’s most desired man. She’s the world’s sexiest woman. Together they have the combined IQ of, say, a silly goose.

We’re talking about Robert Pattinson and Megan Fox. Or, if the rumours are to be believed, Frobox. Those are the rumours that Robert Pattinson and Megan Fox are secretly dating on the sly, which would necessitate the invention of an irritating singular compound brand based on their individual names.

But wait – did we just say that Robert Pattinson and Megan Fox are secretly dating? WOW! Imagine the babies they’ll have – they’ll be so cute! And also preposterously dim!

Sorry Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. You’ve had your time in the sun. Your biological children might legitimately be the pinnacle of human design, but that might not be the case for much longer.

If reports are to be believed, Robert Pattinson and Megan Fox are secretly dating. And, if they are, that’s bound to result in babies. And if Robert Pattinson and Megan Fox have babies, they’re bound to be even more beautiful than the Brangelina brood. Obviously by ‘more beautiful’ we mean ‘exactly the same but slightly more robotic-looking on their mother’s side and with a bigger chin and stupider hair on their father’s side’ but we’re excited here! Give us a break!

Anyway, we’re getting ahead of ourselves here – the news is that Robert Pattinson might just possibly be secretly dating, or have once previously secretly dated, Megan Fox, with the secondary piece of news being that WE’RE SO EXCITED WE CAN’T BREATHE! The New York Daily News reports:

The actress reportedly bragged about hooking up with Pattinson when the couple first called off their engagement, according to a source who worked closely with Fox on the set of “Jennifer’s Body.” “Megan was totally into [Rob] and thought he was really cute,” dished the insider. “But nothing ever went further than one night they were together. He totally blew her off.”

Did you read that? Robert Pattinson and Megan Fox are totally getting married! It says it right there, in the paragraph above! Admittedly to be able to understand that, you’d need to make an anagram of the entire paragraph and then read between the lines of that – but that’s exactly what we’ve just done so it must be true! It’s so exciting.

If this news is real – and we want to believe with all our hearts that it is – then it just goes to show that fairy tales can come true. If enough 14-year-old boys simultaneously masturbate over the same internet picture of a famous girl at the exact same time that enough teenage girls wet themselves stupid while trying to do kissing practice on a tatty promotional Twilight poster, then the subjects of all those misdirected adolescent hormones are destined to end up together.

Either that or every single piece of Megan Fox-related piece of Transformers 2 merchandise are destined to end up defaced with the scrawled words ‘Rorbut belonngs 2 me, bich!’ We guess we’ll just have to wait and see which one comes true first.

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