He’s the world’s most desired man. She’s the world’s sexiest woman. Together they have the combined IQ of, say, a silly goose.
We’re talking about Robert Pattinson and Megan Fox. Or, if the rumours are to be believed, Frobox. Those are the rumours that Robert Pattinson and Megan Fox are secretly dating on the sly, which would necessitate the invention of an irritating singular compound brand based on their individual names.
But wait – did we just say that Robert Pattinson and Megan Fox are secretly dating? WOW! Imagine the babies they’ll have – they’ll be so cute! And also preposterously dim!
Sorry Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. You’ve had your time in the sun. Your biological children might legitimately be the pinnacle of human design, but that might not be the case for much longer.
If reports are to be believed, Robert Pattinson and Megan Fox are secretly dating. And, if they are, that’s bound to result in babies. And if Robert Pattinson and Megan Fox have babies, they’re bound to be even more beautiful than the Brangelina brood. Obviously by ‘more beautiful’ we mean ‘exactly the same but slightly more robotic-looking on their mother’s side and with a bigger chin and stupider hair on their father’s side’ but we’re excited here! Give us a break!
Anyway, we’re getting ahead of ourselves here – the news is that Robert Pattinson might just possibly be secretly dating, or have once previously secretly dated, Megan Fox, with the secondary piece of news being that WE’RE SO EXCITED WE CAN’T BREATHE! The New York Daily News reports:
The actress reportedly bragged about hooking up with Pattinson when the couple first called off their engagement, according to a source who worked closely with Fox on the set of “Jennifer’s Body.” “Megan was totally into [Rob] and thought he was really cute,” dished the insider. “But nothing ever went further than one night they were together. He totally blew her off.”
Did you read that? Robert Pattinson and Megan Fox are totally getting married! It says it right there, in the paragraph above! Admittedly to be able to understand that, you’d need to make an anagram of the entire paragraph and then read between the lines of that – but that’s exactly what we’ve just done so it must be true! It’s so exciting.
If this news is real – and we want to believe with all our hearts that it is – then it just goes to show that fairy tales can come true. If enough 14-year-old boys simultaneously masturbate over the same internet picture of a famous girl at the exact same time that enough teenage girls wet themselves stupid while trying to do kissing practice on a tatty promotional Twilight poster, then the subjects of all those misdirected adolescent hormones are destined to end up together.
Either that or every single piece of Megan Fox-related piece of Transformers 2 merchandise are destined to end up defaced with the scrawled words ‘Rorbut belonngs 2 me, bich!’ We guess we’ll just have to wait and see which one comes true first.
Vicki says
Don’t you ever do legitimate, interesting reporting? I’m beginning to wonder if all this Rob hate isn’t disguising the truth- like maybe you have a lot of man-love going on for Robert! Anyway, I don’t think he would touch Megan with a ten foot pole. And in the remote, non-existing chance that they would have babies, they’d get all their IQ from their father- Megan has none.
Karla says
LOL!!!
Joke Police says
“I don
Lily says
“Don
Whocares says
LOL!!! WOW What next? Didn’t I just read that he told Kristen to choose between him or Michael? So many rumors!! How about this? Maybe he’s with no one and enjoys being with no one? How about that? He’s young, famous and extemely HOT!! Not just goodlooking HOT but he’s the new HOT actor so he’s going to be linked to everyone!! Give the guy a break!! PLEASE!! I’m sur he’s enjoying him new found fame and wants to enjoy it for as long as he can….. I’m sure that when he does find the right one everyone will be the first to know!!
Bullshet says
what’s to believe.
Megan says
SO NOT TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ariana says
The fact that you actually wasted your time writing this shit really proves how much of a life you have. Nontheless, if you ever actually read any legit paper, EVER, you would that Rob and Kristen Stewart are apparently hooking up. As well as Nikki Reed, Natalie Portman, and wwho ever else had the bravity to even step within two inches of this man. So my advice to you? Lose the sarcastic-ness and touch up on your gossip-your a terrible writer and honestly no one likes an obnoxious, pertinent, and conceited loser.
Wembly Fraggle says
‘your a terrible writer’
Oh, the irony…
Jillian says
Hilarious. Maybe the next story should be about how Rob is really into guys.
lethe says
RoGan? No, that’s taken, although only by one guy on his own…
MegBert? Oh, yeah, I like that one. MEGBERT! It scans! See, it’s destiny! Sigh.
PS – Ariana, what’s “bravity”? Another word combo? Bravery/Gravity? Hmmm, that actually works. But you’ve got to lose the sarcasticness – we’ve already got a word for that; it’s sarcasm (she said sarcastically).
lethe says
Hey, where the heck ARE you, Hecklerspray, that my comment posted at 3PM shows an 8PM post?
ARRGH! says
Leave him alone! If anything happens to him while being sysematically picked to pieces by the media….
LITR (lost it to Rob) says
Well done … I’ve read your blog from the other side of the world. Tad disappointed though I must say – your imagination has run rife again.
Aaah well, on an entertainment level your foot is halfway onto the first rung of several million women’s very steep ladders. Rob climbed the ladders a while ago, incidentally – quite easily. We visit you to read good stuff Stuart … get your hands on a copy of the wo+manual asap.
JB says
ONLY IN MEGAN FOX’S DREAMS! GO ROBSTEN!!!
LH says
Hilarious. This story exemplifies all the other stories that are written about these people. Make believe….right?
Alakalid says
YAY!!! angry tweens YAY!!!!. i love you America. Always not giving a damn about yourself unless a celebrity is involved. haha.
Eric says
Hey did you hear Megan fox and Robert Pattingson just got the lead roles to “The Spirit Serens” looks like her year to win the Oscar.
Synopsis:The Spirit Serens is a Film about an out of work student name Caf he and his family and friends all are struggling to find work, base in the Washington DC area set in 2000. Cafs life is in transition after college his aunt came to live with him and his siblings, while his parents were put in a disability home. Like many college students who cannot find work, he begins to wonder if it was worth the time, because his educational skills shortly after his graduation came obsolete.
For the rest go to http://wahlah.webs.com/TheSpiritSerens.htm
http://www.myspace.com/thespiritserens
http://www.youtube.com/user/TheSpiritSerens