Are Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart Having It Off Or What?
The onscreen chemistry between Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart is what makes Twilight so popular.
Actually, that’s a fib. Sorry. Cynical marketing aimed at a notoriously stupid demographic is what makes Twilight so popular – Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have the onscreen chemistry of two learning-disabled second-hand toilet brushes after an extensive series of amateur lobotomies. But, hey, that’s just onscreen – offscreen Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are totally doing it.
Probably. They went to a Kings Of Leon concert on Saturday and were photographed having what appears to be a little snog, anyway. Romantic. And sort of off-puttingly grubby.
Oh dear. Twilight fans didn’t need much of an excuse to hate Kristen Stewart as it was – after all, she gets paid to hang out with Robert Pattinson even though she’s got a face like a balloon horse – but now she’s really gone and done it. A set of photos from a concert on Saturday have given all the squealing teenage Twilight fans all the ammunition they need to legitimately hate her forever.
That’s right – Kristen Stewart likes Kings Of Leon.
We know, what a massive bitch. They might be the cackiest redneck U2 cover band on the face of the planet at the moment, responsible for a number of songs for people who don’t really like songs, but there she was at a Kings Of Leon concert in Vancouver on Saturday, sitting there clapping along to their stupid music and kissing Robert Pattinson and probably whooping every time that hairy Cletus of a frontman made a noise like a wookie Bono getting his ankle caught in a bear trap. It’s enough to make you sick. Kings Of Leon? Oh Kristen Stewart, how could you?
Anyway, the LA Times has decided to ignore this red hot ‘Kristen Stewart likes Kings Of Leon and is therefore an insufferable twonk’ angle to focus on the kissing Robert Pattinson thing, the idiots:
New photos have surfaced on RadarOnline from the concert in Vancouver, Canada. Robert and Kristen are seen EXTREMELY CLOSE to each other. According to observers, Robert, 23, and Kristen, 19, were having a great time together, smoking and drinking at the concert. And the buzz is that their interaction heated up when when KoL played “Sex on Fire.”
So are Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart actually an item now? Let’s go on record now as saying that we really hope they are – if it puts and end to the jealousy and the food-eating and the tedious love triangles and the dreary denials and the alleged pregnancies, then great. We’re so keen for all that nonsense to stop that we’d give our blessing to Kristen Stewart if she decided to start having it off with a stoat in a tiny top hat.
Plus it’s a weight off Robert Pattinson’s mind, too – by getting together with Kristen Stewart he knows that he’s probably not the only Twilight star who crazed fans want to push into traffic any more. It’s a win-win, and you Twilight fans will see that once you’ve stopped cutting yourself and scratching the word ‘HOAR’ into every photograph of Kristen Stewart you can find.
Ugh, I hate Kings of Leon.
Why not more Rob Pattinson bashing in this post though, Stu? Soft spot inching its way to the surface?
actually he did a great job on this article so many comments are true but people are afraid to say them
great job Stu keep up the great work especially on the KS bashing
love it..need it.. want it..
NEVER!
This is the funniest story I have read about the two of them. We can only hope people will stop obsessing over the two.
Ktwat is going to ruin rob’s career. She just riding his coat tails. She cant act. The only reason she got the acting jobs she has had because of who her parents are. Rob please find a nice normal girl that not in the whole hollywood fake world.
So true…well said. I truly hope Rob gives his head a shake before it’s to late.
wtf are you talking about hater kristen has been in 20 other films thank u and she was casted as bella and she picked rob as edward so get your factz straight ho3 b4 u talk ok!!!
Kristen bashers go to hell.
are you in love with her…get a life…look at her…she’s ugly and can’t act…if not for RPattz she would still be a nobody..she is riding on his glory..wake up little girl he definetely needs to move on
I think this a first where Rpattz isn’t completely shredded by you, Stu. Yes, direct your ire at Kristen, that HOAR! And yeah, toss it at Kings of Leon, overrated bastards.
Janie you’re right, KTwat can’t act. Seen “Into the Wild”? She’s the very same character but instead of being a vamphag she’s into a Hobo whom likely, was actually smelling like a dirty tramp’s rectum.
I liked her until I found out she was a drug addict. She should be in jail. The rest of us would be serving time if we were caught behaving like her. She’s just an actress, nothing more. Nothing special about her. Her portrayals are boring. Move on Rob.
I really think KS is ugly and I really don’t see what is up with RP. Is he blind? Look at her, just the hair makes you gag and truly looks like a butchy bitch! He must be having alcohol withdrawals to actually give her the time of day! Start drinking again RP maybe your eyesight will improve! She is a L O S E R!
mind your own business obviously you ‘re not getting any ..
What the f… to you mean not getting any…who is the response for..how old are you 10?
you are such a douche, honestly can you not realse how pathetic your life is when you write about two tween actors having a relationship. and oh my gosh, you are actually so funny, that KOL quip, wow you shoud do stand up. prick.
wtf u dont kno shit she aint no fucking addict and there are places in america u can smoke without getting arrested and just cause her parent is a producer adn scripwritter dont mean shit she hate to get roles on her own and act on her own her parents didnt do that and her is pretty as fuck so shut up and leave her alone.