Teenage son of hellraising Slur-King Ozzy Osborne, Jack, has reported a theft of £200,000 worth of jewellery from his luggage on a flight from Los Angeles to London.

neThe nineteen-year old teen had two valuable watches amongst other jewels stolen, presumably before he had even boarded the flight.

An investigation has now been launched in order to find the culprit.

Sharon and Ozzy are said to be completely devastated once again, it was only three months ago that a burglar had pinched £2 million worth of family jewels while they were at home in their England mansion.

Jackie where is the sense in leaving that much valuable jewellery in your suitcase? Use your head, Osborne.

Have career criminals been able to infiltrate the Osborne life pattern and realise their lack of care and suspicion towards theft. Has somebody left a diary somewhere?

Meanwhile, pseudo-singer sister Kelly O is now an actress on a television teen drama program called “Life As We Know It”. Remember this: watch LAWKI with an airsickness bag to hand, as it is difficult to stomach.

Kelly fails to come across as anything else except her own round self, which is often a hellish spectacle but when intermixed with an otherwise fresh-faced cast it appears as if her character has spent too long boiling up cough medicine to retrieve the codeine. So make sure your stomach is stable should you attempt to take it on.

Aside from this, the thefts of the Junior Osborne’s treasures need to be tackled. We can only guess that Sharon is working ferociously behind the scenes to ensure some poor bastard airport worker will get burnt at the stake. You just can’t get the staff these days…

Anyways, let’s hope the right man is caught and brought to justice. Leave the Family-O alone, dammit.