Another African Baby Nabbed-Up By A White Celebrity
A few hundred years back white people used to roam Africa bonking the natives on the head and dragging them back to a waiting ship. When they'd come to, the poor captives would find the housing situation not only unsuitable, but there was absolutely no kind of retirement plan in place.
Once the world realised this wasn't a fair thing, slavery was ended and the remaining Africans were left alone to dwell in their lush 16-storey mansion-ish homes. Until Angelina Jolie decided she wanted one, that is. She came in and grabbed an African a few years back, and then Madonna took one, and pretty soon it was almost like white slave-traders were reliving their glory days.
And there are no signs of this African-child taking letting up either. Why, another one's recently been adopted by whitey – this time by a wealthy marijuana sales rep/actress.
Mary-Louise Parker is not a racist at all – and she's proven this by adopting an African baby. In the growing trend of definitively protecting yourself before you have to apologise to Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton or BET for something or other, Parker has recently adopted a Baby plucked fresh from Africa. People.com said:
"Weeds star Mary-Louise Parker has adopted a baby girl from Africa…"
Of course hecklerspray is quite upset about this as we'd sent in an African adoption application several months ago, and have yet to receive our slim and leggy 17-year-old daughter. We've already made a room for her for crying out loud! We're so effing lonely!
But adoption-lucky Parker's not lonely anymore. Nope – she's got a new kid to hire nannies to take care of. Well, if rumours are to be believed maybe she doesn't need to hire nannies. We base this later statement on a quote from an unnamed source:
"Mary-Louise is such an incredible mother. She couldn't be happier about this."
Lame. There's Parker prancing into the sunset with a beautiful black baby in tow and what do we get? More waiting. It's not fair at all. That adoption agency knows we're ready, and they know we'd make a darn good father! For Pete's sake, we already bought the books to home school her!
And a two week supply of civilised girl-underpants!
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