Anna Nicole Smith’s Will Mostly Geared Towards Dead Boys

Don't feel bad for Howard K Stern. He may have lost the battle to become the father of Anna Nicole Smith's daughter, but Anna Nicole didn't forget him in her will; she's left Howard K Stern an important role - guardian of her dead son Daniel.

Anna Nicole Smith, you see, didn't update her will in the wake of her son Daniel's death or her daughter Dannielynn Hope's birth. And now that Anna Nicole's will has been filed, we can see that everything in it was supposed to go to Daniel. In the past, this vacuum would have left everyone who'd ever met Anna Nicole Smith battling to become her beneficiary through weeks and weeks of court appearances - but now that all the bad blood between Larry Birkhead and Howard K Stern seems to have vanished, it's expected that all $710,000 of Anna Nicole Smith's assets will be going straight into a trust fund for Dannielynn Hope, so that when she reaches a certain age she'll have the financial means to woo and marry a nearly-dead oil billionaire too.

At least we know that the opportunistic Anna Nicole Smith movie will have a happy ending now - rather than the last scene being of Anna Nicole Smith taking a massive accidental overdose of medication and dying, the movie can have a more upbeat finale now, with Larry Birkhead flying to the USA with baby Dannielynne Hope and then rolling around a bank vault filled with money together. Because thanks to Anna Nicole Smith's will, Dannielynne Hope is going to be rich! Eventually. Probably.

After the location of Anna Nicole Smith's burial was decided and the real father of her child was discovered her will became the only thing left to wade through - and it was filed yesterday by Anna Nicole's fake husband Howard K Stern. Unhappily, though, Anna Nicole hadn't updated it since her son Daniel died - leaving the entire contents to him, as USA Today reports:

The document leaves assets estimated at $710,000 to Smith's now-deceased son, Daniel, and also gives Stern custody of Daniel, who was a minor in 2001, when the will was written. In a probate petition signed May 7 by Stern, he asked a judge to recognize the document as Smith's last will and him as its main executor. The petition also names Smith's 8-month-old daughter, Dannielynn, as her survivor, and Larry Birkhead as the infant's father.

While this strangely unified decision will no doubt be a blow for that crazy old impotent German prince who said he knocked Anna Nicole Smith up, at least now all of Anna Nicole Smith's assets can be put into a trust for Dannielynn Hope along with the money that Larry Birkhead received for that magazine deal last month. And also Dannielynn stands to earn up to $500 million more when the kerfuffle over Anna Nicole Smith's inheritance from her dead billionaire husband is sorted out, too.

In short, Dannielynn's huge trust fund has ensured that when she grows up, sleeps around a lot and then dies of an accidental overdose at a tragically early age, the squabbling over money can continue. It's the circle of life.

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Anna Nicole's Will: $710k To Dead Son - USA Today