The least someone deserves when they die is a swift, dignified funeral – but thanks to everyone squabbling over her body like the last Stretch Armstrong in a toy store on Christmas Eve, that’s eluded Anna Nicole Smith for over three weeks now.

At the end of last week Anna Nicole Smith’s body was placed in the custody of her daughter’s court-appointed guardian, who ruled that Anna Nicole Smith should be buried in the Bahamas alongside her dead son as soon as possible. That ruling didn’t account for Anna Nicole Smith’s estranged mother Virgie Arthur, though. Virgie Arthur has taken Anna Nicole Smith’s rapidly decomposing body-battle to the court of appeals to try and ensure that Anna Nicole is buried in Texas. Well, either that or she wants to hold the burial up for so long that Anna Nicole Smith’s corpse dissolves completely – whichever happens first.