Being Angelina Jolie is hard work – frowning concernedly at everything 24/7 is an almost superhuman task, after all – and that's why Angelina Jolie needs to take an entire year off from work, or whatever it is you call what she does from day to day.
According to reports, Angelina Jolie is planning to take most of 2008 off. However, it's unclear if Angelina Jolie just meant that she'd take a year off from making marginally disappointing movies or whether she'd actually stop being Angelina Jolie: Humanitarian Allstar for a year too. Hopefully it's the latter, because if we'd devoted ourselves to the cause of humanitarianism as intensely as Angelina Jolie has over the last couple of years, there's nothing we'd like to do more than some time off to kick over third-world hospitals and hurl some landmines at orphans. And Angelina Jolie must feel the same way. Probably.
On the surface it looks like Angelina Jolie has it all – Jennifer Aniston's ex-husband for a boyfriend, a variety of different-coloured children, the words 'Sky Captain And The World Of Tomorrow' plastered all over her CV like some kind of ghastly rash – but there's one thing that Angelina Jolie doesn't have, and that's time to herself.
You see, Angelina Jolie has spent the last few months in a frantic whirlwind of doing the voice of a funny tiger and blacking her face up and annoying everyone in India while making her Mariane Pearl film – which is good for fans of knockabout animated comedy and intensely harrowing portrayals of people widowed by fundamentalist terrorists, but less good for Angelina Jolie. Right now – aside from sombrely lauding A Mighty Heart in Cannes – Angelina Jolie is making a flick in Prague and then probably that absurdly deep film about Objectivism and then she's all done for a year, as the San Francisco Chronicle reports:
Angelina Jolie says she plans to take a year off from filmmaking to spend more time with her partner, Brad Pitt, and their children. "We're getting work out of the way at the moment," said the 31-year-old actress, who has been shooting the thriller "Wanted" in Prague, Czech Republic. After that, she said, "I take two months off, then I work for two months. Then I take a year off."
No doubt this year off will be good for Angelina Jolie's children, as their mother's heavy workload means that they haven't been spending as much time with her as they'd like – especially baby Pax Thien, who's probably still so confused about everyone constantly changing his name that he's hardly had time to notice the big-lipped lady who keeps hanging round him all the time.
So make the most time of Angelina Jolie while you can, everyone, because soon she'll be vanishing for a long long time. And when Angelina Jolie is gone, she's gone – and judging by the last time she did something similar, she'll only pop up intermittently to get pregnant, rush off to live in Africa in a blaze of publicity, try to get as many photographers arrested as possible, call in the secret service over a memory stick, sell her baby photos to whoever's richest and generally be in the news ten times more than if she was actually making films anyway.
Yes, we'll miss her.