Angelina Jolie is clever – she knows that if she keeps adopting children from around the globe at her current crazy rate, it won't be long before she has the finest team of cheeky urchin chimney sweeps and pickpockets in all of cockney London town.
But Angelina Jolie's current crazy adoption rate just isn't fast enough. Angelina Jolie wants more children, and Angelina Jolie wants them now. And if not now then just as bloody well soon as the Vietnamese government can manage – which seems to be quite soon since the Vietnamese government has fast-tracked Angelina Jolie's adoption of a three-year-old Vietnamese boy that she's taken a fancy to. No explanation has been given about why Angelina Jolie's adoption has been sped-up, although it's probably something to do with getting all the kids out of Vietnam before Gary Glitter is released from prison. Or something.
Angelina Jolie is queen of adoption, and don't you forget it. Forget that Angelina Jolie has given birth to a biological baby, because this woman is all about the adoption – besides, giving birth is terrifying. And don't think that you can start adopting babies willy-nilly too, because Angelina Jolie has a Madonna-style smackdown just waiting for you, buddy. Bearing in mind that Angelina Jolie is the queen of adoption, it didn't come as too much of a surprise to discover that Angelina Jolie was adopting another kid, this time in Vietnam.
Yeah, remember when Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt went to Vietnam for Christmas for to 'relax'? They weren't relaxing – Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie only go to different countries to adopt more children. When Angelina Jolie went to Cambodia she came back with Maddox, when Angelina Jolie went to Ethiopia she came back with Zahara and when Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie went to Namibia they, um, well they had their own baby and were accused of being colonial overlords by the locals. But let's skip over that one.
Because soon there's going to be a new addition to Angelina Jolie's rag-tag Benetton advert of a family – a shy little three-year-old boy from Vietnam – and the sooner the better, as BBC News reports:
Vu Duc Long, head of the country's international adoption department, said just the final pieces of paperwork had yet to be processed. He originally said the adoption could take up to three months to go through official channels… Vu Duc Long had previously said the child was a boy aged between three and four years from the Tam Binh orphanage in Ho Chi Minh City. But on Wednesday he declined to confirm the details, adding: "We have been asked to keep the boy's details confidential"… Adoptions in Vietnam often take up to six months, but they can be fast-tracked if background checks are completed quickly.
Although Brad Pitt isn't directly involved with this adoption – adoptions are hardly ever granted to unmarried couples in Vietnam, you have to wonder where Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt get this weird compulsion to adopt so many times from. The obvious answer is because more children equal more opportunities to annoy Graham Norton, but perhaps Maddox Jolie has put in a request to Angelina Jolie for a brother that comes from a country with a crapper Christmas celebration than his.
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Caroline says
Watch it! It’s so insulting to say that Christmas in Vietnam is crapper than Cambodia or any country.