When it comes to secretive relationship behaviour, hecklerspray is up there with the best of them. For instance, our two-year marriage to Shakira is a secret to everybody, even – thanks to a heady cocktail of chloroform and Rohypnol – Shakira herself.
But that pales into insignificance next to the ultra-secretive movements of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Seriously, if it wasn't for all the photo-shoots, global disruption and baby-having they did together, we wouldn't even suspect that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were a couple at all. But now – for a reason that just so happens to coincide with the release of her new movie – Angelina Jolie has decided to spill the beans about her and Brad in an interview with Vogue. By 'spill the beans' we obviously mean 'rub Jennifer Aniston's dirty nose in it the second she becomes single and vulnerable again', but you knew that, didn't you.
We're beginning to suspect that Angelina Jolie probably can't do right for doing wrong. When Angelina decides to raise awareness of poverty-stricken Nambia by going there to have a baby she ends up getting called a "colonial overlord." When Angelina Jolie decides to help an orphan by adopting it Madonna copies her and makes a right arse out of herself. When Angelina Jolie tries to make a touching movie about the importance of a free press she blacks up and injures children and everyone slowly backs away trying not to make eye contact with her. So when Angelina Jolie decided to finally tell a magazine all about her previously watertight, secret service-enlisting relationship with Brad Pitt, fate conspired to publish it just days after Jennifer Aniston – the woman who Angelina Jolie stole Brad Pitt from – got dumped by Vince Vaughn.
But enough about Jennifer Aniston's cosmic misfortune, what did Angelina Jolie have to say to Vogue about the moment that she decided to steal Brad Pitt from his wife? Well, more or less a load of stuff that you'd already guessed 18 months ago when people were still interested. Stuff like this:
"I didn't know much about exactly where Brad was in his personal life. But it was clear he was with his best friend, someone he loves and respects. And so we were both living, I suppose, very full lives… Brad was a huge surprise to me. I, like most people, had a very distant impression of him… I think we were the last two people who were looking for a relationship. I certainly wasn't. I was quite content to be a single mom. Because of the film, we ended up being brought together to do all these crazy things, and I think we found this strange friendship and partnership that kind of just suddenly happened. I think a few months in I realised, 'God, I can't wait to get to work.' Whether it was shooting a scene or arguing about a scene or gun practice or dance class or doing stunts – anything we had to do with each other, we just found a lot of joy in it together and a lot of real teamwork. We just became kind of a pair."
And then, to cut a long story short, they started humping and Jennifer Aniston was all like boo hoo hoo. There, that's the cover price of Vogue we've just saved you.
Read more:
Angelina: I Tried Not To Steal Jen's Best Friend – New York Post
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
I love your site and you can tell I come here daily. But Rohypnol’s not funny. Just isn’t. Not even slightly.
If Jennifer is vulnerable she really needs to grow up. Breakups are painful. The only people who should give a care about their breakup is Jennifer and Brad and each of them know what they contributed (it is never one sided)
As far as Jennifer’s recent breakup, the only recent one she had was that movie. vince was a sham
When Angelina says that she didn’t know where Brad Pitt was in his personal life, it’s obvious that she doesn’t have respect for the idea and commitment of marriage. It was obvious where he was in his personal life, he was married. I doubt that he married his “best friend,” he just chose to find someone else more interesting. My father cheated on my mother, and it’s usualy clear as time passes, that men who are unfaithful find reasons to leave whomever they’re with eventually. For most women who experience this kind of betrayal, it’s easy to blame themselves and compare themselves to the current chosen woman, but there is no point in compareing, because both women are individual and beautiful in their own way. This world is so cruel to women. It makes it harder when women betray eachother, are critical of eachother, allie with unfaithfull men and blame the previous wife for the marriage not working. It’s different with me, she thinks. I’m the right one for him, she says. His ex-wife didn’t give him what he wanted. Since when is loving someone about getting what you want when you want it. Love usualy starts with physical attraction, but then develops because of loyalty and personal character and integrity. If it didn’t last, it’s not because
that person wasn’t the right one, it’s because, with some exceptions, that person was missing the ability to be loyal and act with integrity. When these personal
attributes are missing, jumping to another different relationship can’t suddenly develop them. This is my experience.
I am glad that I am not the only one who is buying this load of crap that Brad just fall for her after the divorce. What they think I am an idiot to believe them. I would rather that bitch could just disappear from the face of the earth or go back to Africa or India. I can’t stand those two all those good that they are doing for people still not going to get you guys in heaven you are going straight to hell for what you guys did to the beautiful and classy Jen. Brad just so you know you won’t be happy without Jen and you are going to regret it when your daughter turns how to be just like her mother.