Angelina Jolie and Madonna both have their strong points; Angelina Jolie is good at drawing attention to herself and not making very good films, and Madonna is good at drawing attention to herself and not making very good music – but things end there.

Angelina Jolie senses that Madonna is starting to encroach on her territory, and she isn’t happy about it. First Madonna started to make films that weren’t as good as they should have been – typical Angelina Jolie turf – and then Madonna started zipping over to Africa to adopt as many children as her claw-like hands could carry. Which, we now know, totals one child. Perhaps fearing that Madonna will adopt all the cute African babies and leave her to pick from the ugly or deformed ones, Angelina Jolie has stuck out at Madonna’s adoption of David Banda from Malawi – although Angelina has said it’s because Madonna did it all illegal and that.