Angelina Jolie Adoption Betting Odds: Philippines & Somalia

Angelina Jolie adoption betting odds Philippines SomaliaWe're in the penultimate day of our superbly-observed and only marginally tasteless Angelina Jolie adoption betting odds, where we decide to seize upon the public mood by trying to get you to make money from guessing where Angelina Jolie adopts from next.

But, look, we're going to level with you here. We've come across something we weren't really anticipating. As always, we've been rattling through these betting odds from the bottom up – and that's great fun when it comes to dashing off jokey profiles about why Angelina Jolie would want to adopt a nice little Welsh kid. But now that the week is nearly over we've realised that now we've kind of committed ourselves to write jokey profiles about why Angelina Jolie would want to adopt a baby from the battlefields of Somalia. Hear that sound? That's us shooting ourselves in the foot.

Still place bets, though. Seriously, Somalia is a steal.

Here are the Angelina Jolie adoption betting odds – for the Philippines and Somalia -with help from Paddy Power

Philippines – Angelina Jolie is now the proud owner of four children; one from Cambodia, one from Ethiopia, one from Vietnam and one from her very own uterus. Think of the mess that those kids must make. And getting a cleaner in every day, well that's just an added expense isn't it. So what's a socially aware millionairess to do when she's got tons of mess to clean up but can't be bothered to pay a cleaner? Simple – go to the Philippines and adopt a child from there. In the Philippines they pretty much train their babies to housekeep from day one, we heard. Plus instead of learning maths at school they learn how to clean rich people's swimming pools. Angelina Jolie would need to adopt an older child, though – after all, you can't expect a toddler to lift a sofa up to vacuum underneath it, can you? Credit Angelina with some dignity. Current Angelina Jolie adoption betting odds – 7/1

Somalia – We genuinely can't understand why Somalia isn't higher up the list of countries that Angelina Jolie wants to adopt from. On paper Somalia ticks all the boxes – hit by the tsunami in 2004, wounded by torrential rain and flooding in 2007, torn apart by civil war, almost finished off by air raids from Ethiopia… any one of those would normally be enough to attract a fleet of well-meaning celebrities to help their cause. And here's the kicker – there has been no effective national government in Somalia for 16 years. Angelina could probably stroll in, kidnap a baby and leave again without anyone even noticing. And isn't that a win-win situation for everyone? Current Angelina Jolie adoption betting odds – 6/1

Tomorrow – China and India! But if that's too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Angelina Jolie adoption betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.


  1. cindy says

    In the Philippines they pretty much train their babies to housekeep from day one, we heard. Plus instead of learning maths at school they learn how to clean rich people’s swimming pools.

    That is the most ignorant comment ever made even in jest! No wonder America lags behind Asian countries in math and science test scores!

  2. says

    if angelina would adopt from the philippines, i ‘d like to make an advise. just make sure that the child is a real
    orphan. no parents or else she’ ll get into a mess. good luck angie !!! more power to you!!!

  3. Ayan says

    is this a joke or what? am sure agenlina is not going to somalia and adopt a child from it, cause there isn’t kids that are just
    sitting around the streets ready to be taken, every child is watched by their relatives if their parents are dead so i suggest for her
    not to even think about that otherwise she gonna bring fight to her self.

  4. Kate says

    Hey you Stuart.. you know nothing about the Philippines and the Filipino people, so be careful in what you say..

  5. Isabela says

    That is a totally ignorant comment. You are totally unaware of educational opportunities of children in the Philippines. As young as possible, they are given opportunities to enter a special math and science – curriculum – called “science schools”. The training starts so early, my niece at 12 years, has to wake up at 4:00 to studey to maintain her spot in these schools. That training continues on – to college, again vying for the best spot in universities, some of them dates back to 1600. One of them is the University of Sto. Tomas founded by the Jesuits. Most kids are not required to do many chores because of the demands of education and so helpers who are often relatives are sought. located. By the way the Philippine Team from St. Jude, a private school in Manila, won the highschool Math World Competition held recently in Hongkong. Please spare us these unfounded comments. You need to educate yourself about the world you live in.

  6. gir says

    You’ve heard that expression “Fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke”?

    Well, I’m pretty sure I don’t want to have to be the one to service the hecklerspray readership.

  7. Rob Delaney says

    You could get a free, permanent holiday to the States out of it, gir. Mainly Florida, I’d guess…

  8. gir says

    I’m already in the states, and not far enough from Florida, Rob.

    This sounds like a lose-lose.

  9. Nicholas says

    Philippines? What?, kids here are taught Python Programming Language at grade 3, and Agile Web Applications Development at grade 6, so we pretty much can kick this website’s butt.

  10. P. says

    (In the Philippines they pretty much train their babies to housekeep from day one, we heard. Plus instead of learning maths at school they learn how to clean rich people

  11. gelo says

    hey stuart!!!

    You must be aware on what you saying!!

    do not degrade Filipinos in any offensive way!!

  12. stuartrocks says

    stuart. i used to love your work man. but you insulted the philippines! how could you do that? your a journalist of stature, people believe what you say! people give a damn about what you write! now hoards of americans will believe that filipinos train their kids to do housekeeping. they’re all going to want filipino kids from now on. once they start adopting filipinos, they’ll figure out american kids are too damn lazy to deal with and they’ll stop making sweet american love. do you realize what that means? no more american babies! it will be the end of the american dream! all because of this article! can you imagine a world like that? no more red blooded americans like stuart heritage to fill the internet with meaningful articles…

    maybe that isn’t such a bad thing after all. more power mister heritage.

  13. you went over the bakod says

    Mister Stuart, if this is your opinion, I am glad that you have one, because it is neither funny or else what, it’s simply hot air writing without knowledge about a country and unfortunately they are still people like you calling themselves journalists. Maybe it is the unspoken truth that you never had somebody cleaned and vacuumed your apartment, maybe than you think of marying a beautiful filipina. you wish so… get yourself a vacuum cleaner honey bunny and I can say it in german too Wisch’ doch mal selber hinter der Glotze, and in spanish: no digas tonterias, … solo me das pena tio!

    Yes, I am filipino :)

  14. zhao yun says

    nice comment about somalian and filipino but really u dont know any culture from this countries so pls shut the hell up and u dont need to degrade other countries just to get ur papers sold pitty on you