Andrew Keegan Started His Own Religion

dafuq

Back in my day, when a celebrities career was washed up they just did a reality show or something, you know? Maybe wrote a tell all biography or open a restaurant. However, mega 90’s hunk, Andrew Keegan, has decided to try something totally new by..wait for it..starting his own religion.

Earlier this week it was revealed that, like L. Ron Hubbard before him, Keegan has decided to start a celebrity religion which he is calling Full Circle. However, unlike Hubbard’s Scientology, I could totally get behind Full Circle because I’ve already been a member of the Andrew Keegan cult for like twenty years.

Vice magazine did a profile on Andrew Keegan and Full Circle and explained that Andrew decided to start his “spiritual movement” back in 2011 after a series of weird events (he allegedly got jumped by a gang and then there was a tsunami in Japan and apparently Keegan connected these two in this brain?)

Keegan went on to explain:

I had a moment where I was looking at a street lamp and it exploded. That was a weird coincidence. At a ceremony, a heart-shaped rose quartz crystal was on the altar, and synchronistically, this whole thing happened. It’s a long story, but basically the crystal jumped off the altar and skipped on camera. That was weird.

Ok, so this is all starting to make way more sense to me now. At first, I thought that Andrew was like this super weird former celeb who decided to create a religion, but now it’s obvious that like many child stars before him he is CLEARLY on the bad shit and is hallucinating some weird stuff.

Apparently the “religion” is all about meditation and healing crystals and some other random shit that I’m sure Gwyneth Paltrow and Shailene Woodley can get down with, so who knows, maybe Keegan’s religion will be a hit.

I’m not full on board with this Full Circle shit, but call me when Devon Sawa starts a religion and I’ll be the first bitch in line to join.

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