Ancient Demi Moore Wants Kids From Her Infant Husband

You have every reason to be jealous of Demi Moore, ladies. Not only does Demi Moore have a semi-decent body and a 13-year-old husband, but she thinks that there's still the occasional twitching of life in her reproductive system, too.

You see, Demi Moore is an achiever; so when she sees something she wants, she just goes right out and gets it. And the thing that Demi Moore wants most of all - apart from a not-shit film career again - is a baby. But even though she's now 44 years old, we shouldn't write off Demi Moore's motherhood hopes completely - even though we do sort of get the impression that if Ashton Kutcher ever gave her a baby boy, Demi Moore would bite Ashton's head off and marry the baby as soon as possible.

It must be fun being Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, purely because they get all the fun of being rich, but there isn't really the stress of being properly famous any more. Demi Moore's career disappeared the day she agreed to dance around to Annie Lennox songs in the buff during Striptease, and Ashton Kutcher's career walks the fine line between playing sub-Beadle pranks on Justin Timberlake, being nice to the coast guard and occasionally sucking off Nazis.

And Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher are happy together, too. Despite the 76-year age difference, 44-year-old Demi Moore and 28-year-old Ashton Kutcher clearly love each other to almost get married and then actually get married, but that isn't enough - in an interview with Vanity Fair magazine, Demi Moore announces that she's considering having children with Ashton Kutcher, in addition to the three teenage kids that she had with Bruce Willis, as Reuters reports:

"Most definitely," she told the widely-read magazine in its February issue that hit newsstands in New York and Los Angeles on Tuesday. "Once you hit three, where you're outnumbered, it's really, like, 'What's the difference between (three or) four or five?,'" she said.

The difference between three and four or five is one or two. Seriously Demi, that's basic subtraction you moron. Anyway, as is traditional for this sort of thing, Demi then goes onto discuss exactly how brilliant Ashton Kutcher is at stuff:

"If somebody would have said, 'O.K., here is the prediction: You're going to meet a man 25 years-old, and he's going to see being with you and having your three children as a bonus,' I would have said, 'Keep dreaming.' I think it caught us both by surprise, particularly him… For us, the age was never even a thought because it was really just like meeting somebody I've always known."

And we get the feeling that for Ashton Kutcher, it was really just like meeting somebody he masturbated furiously over as a teenager. But, really, having a baby at 44 is wracked with all kinds of long- and short-term complications. Wouldn't it just be easier if Demi Moore went and snatched an African baby like the other old ladies do?

Read more:

Moore Says Kids With Kutcher A Possibility - Reuters