It’s not news that someone from America’s Next Top Model is a rapist – we feel spiritually violated whenever we watch it.

But Anand Jon Alexander? Turns out he’s an actual rapist. Yesterday afternoon Anand Jon Alexander, who’d previously featured on America’s Next Top Model as a fashion designer, was sentenced to between 59 years and life in jail for sexually assaulting seven girls as young as 14.

Anand Jon Alexander might get the last laugh, however. Word is that never seeing sunlight, crapping into a metal bucket and being repeatedly stabbed by a paranoid schizophrenic murderer is so Fall 2009. That’ll teach us.

It takes a lot to appear on America’s Next Top Model and come off as even more desperately unpleasant than Tyra Banks but, by jove, it looks like Anand Jon Alexander has gone and done it. To be fair, it took a lot of effort – he had to absolutely destroy the lives of several young women to get there – but that shouldn’t detract from the glory of his prize, which happens to involve spending the rest of his natural life in prison.

You may remember that Newsweek magazine once named Anand Jon Alexander as one of the top faces to watch in 2007. At the time it looked as though you had to watch his face because of his burgeoning fashion line and promising media career, although in retrospect it was probably because if you didn’t watch his face very closely he’d sneak up behind you in an opportunistic effort to rape you stupid.

Anand Jon Alexander was first arrested for rape in March 2007, and he was eventually indicted for a staggering 59 counts before finally being convicted in November of 16 counts of rape, sexual assault and other crimes. But before he was sentenced to between 59 years and life in jail yesterday, Anand Jon Alexander realised that – although he’d buttoned down his reputation as a fairly prolific rapist – he hadn’t quite nailed the paranoid conspiracy theorist persona that he’d been slaving over. Luckily, as the Los Angeles Times points out, he got there just in the nick of time:

Alexander argued that he had not received a fair trial because a juror inappropriately contacted his sister during trial, prosecutors withheld evidence and his attorneys, whom he fired in July, were ineffective in presenting his case. “You have not convinced me that there’s a conspiracy, all right?” [Judge] Wesley said when Alexander continued arguing after his motion had been denied.

So that’s that. At least it’s given Anand Jon Alexander an especially long time to work on his Sping 2068 collection. Unless, obviously, he’s found guilty of similar charges in New York and Texas, in which case his sentence will be lengthened accordingly. And that’d be a nightmare – those silver mechanical leggings that would be seen all over Paris and Milan in 2068 would be wildly passe by 2094 or whenever he ends up being released. He’d be a laughing stock. A total laughing stock.

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