Amy Winehouse Too Drug-Smashed For American Tour
You poor Americans. All you want is to pay to go and see some overrated yet troubled British female singers in concert and they keep letting you down – first Lily Allen cancelled her American tour, and now so has Amy Winehouse.
Next month Amy Winehouse was supposed to fly to America to embark on a huge, continent-conquering tour but – thanks to the small matter of her scoffing down enough heroin, cocaine, ecstasy, ketamine and alcohol in one sitting to keep Britain's drug dealers in speedboats for the next decade – Amy Winehouse has decided to reschedule her dates for next year. No doubt this news has left thousands of American Amy Winehouse fans disappointed, but that's only because they haven't realised that they can get the full Amy Winehouse concert experience by paying a 50-year-old male tramp a fat wedge of cash to dress up like the Bride Of Frankenstein and slur 'no no no' 138 times in a row before they fall down and urinate on themselves.
When we have problems in our personal life, we like to bury ourselves in work. However, since problems in our personal life have never included necking so much cocaine, heroin, ketamine, ecstasy and alcohol that we've kickstarted the world's biggest drug overdose, we can't really put ourselves in Amy Winehouse's shoes.
It's incremental, but Amy Winehouse's life has just kept getting worse and worse lately. Although her aggressive woman-punching and idiot-marrying ways seemed fun at first, it wasn't long before Amy Winehouse was having the contents of her stomach forcibly sucked out through a rigid tube that hospital staff had rammed down her throat – and from then on Amy Winehouse has been to rehab and left rehab and been back to rehab like some sort of pitifully directionless bad-haired waif. And if that wasn't tragic enough, Lily Allen made a poor Amy Winehouse joke at a festival the other day.
But if you think having a three-nippled midget making cracks at your expense during family-friendly concerts was as rock-bottom as you can get, think again – because Amy Winehouse has just cancelled all the dates on the American tour that she had lined up for next month. E! Online reports:
"Due to the rigors involved in touring, Amy Winehouse has been advised to postpone her upcoming September U.S. and Canadian tour dates," publicist Tracey Miller said in a statement. "Plans are being made to reschedule her U.S. tour for early 2008. Until then, Amy has been ordered to rest and is working with medical professionals to address her health." The "Rehab" chanteuse was slated to perform at the VMAs in Las Vegas on Sept. 9 (she's up for three awards) and then officially launch her first major North American jaunt Sept. 12 in New York. It's not clear whether she plans on going forward with the VMA gig, but prospects seem iffy.
Amy Winehouse has been on the verge of huge American success for a while now, and to blow it all on a gigantic drug binge just as she looked set to achieve it must be a real kick in the teeth for Amy. And we can only guess at the disappointment that American Amy Winehouse fans must be experiencing at the moment. Seriously, try to imagine having performances like this pulled out from underneath you at the last minute…
It's not just Amy Winehouse who's bailed out on American tours recently, either – Lily Allen also cancelled her US tour last week thanks to visa issues stemming from an assault on a photographer. And, yes America, you're right to be concerned. With both Amy Winehouse and Lily Allen cancelling their tours at the same time, a vacuum of British female singers has been created in America. God help us all if Kate Nash moves in to fill that vacuum. God help us all.
Read more:
Dear Amy Winehouse,
I am through with you toying with our American ideal of fame. You have to at least be on the cover of Rolling Stone *once* before I can invest in caring about your rehab!
Thanks.
Dear God, if this sort of crapulence was dished out to the audience of, say, 1968, they would have thrown tomatoes, or banana peels. But, a credulous, ignorant “we-invented-the-world” generation probably laps it up…sorry, kids, this garbage isn’t worthy to clean the shoes of Carol King, Grace Slick, even Chrissy Hinde…etc etc….
Overrated..you are one to talk..you sound bitter. Possibly because you use words to destroy people instead of using words to touch peoples lives.
Amazing..yes this girl has a history of drug use but we as humans all have a vise in life. Amy Winehouse has an exceptional voice that can project an
era long gone.
Does Amy Winehouse have any American fans? Hard to imagine. I couldn’t even watch that whole video! Why does she even have British fans? Yech!!
Screw you…
This chick is the best thing since sliced bread you bath dodging bastards.
Go fuck your sad British asses…as yo do so well.
Jp
Femme – she WAS on the cover of Rolling Stone… or was that a dumb joke?
Uhhh… did you watch that video? Since when did sounding like a sick dog make you so moist? Must be her label rep.
While I agree with Perrin R regarding you bath dodging bastards, the fact remains,
that WAS a crap performance.
Honestly, dress my cat up in shorty shorts and it’ll do better.
However, having said that, I too have a “vise in life”. I use it to hold bits of wood when I cut them.
Don’t worry, Amy Winehouse has a lot of fans here. I am not one of them and I think the title of the article if hilarious. I don’t really think Lilly Allen is good either.
Jesus! I may have navigated to the wrong website. And I do appreciate dry British humor. But you are just plain nasty and abusive. I hope Amy doesn’t read your comments. You are hateful, spiteful, defeating, horrid, and just plain terrible. Let her heal and prove you’re totally wrong. Or maybe she will just kill herself. Would that make your negajournalists proud?
Focus on tearing apart healthy people!
U.S. Outcast.
Hey Ray, You’re living in a dream world. Amy is a drugged-up fool and sings like a cat in shorty shorts (at least from what I’ve read (& seen)).
I hope Amy does read these comments.
She’s in the face of millions of impressionable teenage girls and she acts like a total dick.
What about being some sort of role’ model like Britney?
Debating the morals of an entertainer and the ethics of a soon-to-be-washed-up writer seem to be all people do on these blogs anymore. What are your real opinions? All I see is a bunch of unoriginal, terribly written statements by people who just want their 15 minutes of webfame (including this article). If we’re going to critique something, let’s make actual points instead of just name-calling.
[...] You poor Americans. All you want is to pay to go and see some overrated yet troubled British female singers in concert and they keep letting you down – first Lily Allen cancelled her American tour, and now so has Amy Winehouse.Full source on hecklerspray: Read More? [...]
it’s okay, just send us Joss Stone on a tour and we’ll be good to go
Lily Allen canceled after she was not *allowed* into the country. About time someone kept that kind of vocal lack of talent crap out of here. Need to get facts straight when creating a intro to a news article.
I love it. Do “soon-to-be-washed-up writers” have ethics?
But I’m also deeply offended, my statements were not “unoriginal, terribly written statements”.
Who else has compared Amy Winehouse to a singing “cat in shorty shorts”?
I feel sorry for her. It must be hard to be so pretty and successful and rich and talented.
No wonder she’s so unhappy, I mean, after all, is that all there is?
Send Maggie Wheeler. If you’re the kind of person who would listen to/watch Winehouse in any less threatening circumstances than gunpoint, you won’t be able to tell the difference.
She kind of looks like a young Cher in that photo. She might consider going with that look; it worked well for Cher.
[...] Now Timberlake’s come out and confessed he’d canceled his appearances due to a hangover which, let’s face it, might be the most honest explanation a singer’s ever given for a no-show. (Are you paying attention, Amy Winehouse?) [...]