Believe what you read and you’ll think that Amy Winehouse’s lungs are nothing more than gunk-filled peanut-sized husks that barely work at all.

But that’s all nonsense – even though her father Mitch spent the weekend telling anyone who’ll listen that Amy Winehouse has been struck down with emphysema, it actually turns out that Amy hasn’t so much got emphysema as might get it one day in the future if she doesn’t stop smoking – something that could probably be said for all smokers everywhere.

Curses! Now our Amy Winehouse Disease Bingo card is all messed up. Quickly, we’ll need a bucket of monkeypox and a dirt-resistant syringe. Stat!