Amy Winehouse has taken a rare wrong turn in her otherwise nondescript life. Thus far, her life has been about merry walks in the park on sunny days and staying as far away as she can from yucky things like crack.
There has been a rumour going around the Webernets today that Amy Winehouse might be going back to her ex-husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, for the millionth time. Perhaps we are operating under some kind of misguided naivete here – but as sure as crack is whack we are going to have faith in Amy’s decision-making and choose to believe that today’s rumours of an unwashed reconciliation are untrue.
Our favourite newspaper that’s never wrong (except for when they are) – The News of The World – is reporting that the destructive couple are headed back down the aisle.
Watching this pair dribble, bleed, and not change their clothes for an entire year nearly robbed us of our will to cop off with strange people at bars of questionable repute. After all, the couple who get collapsed veins together stays together – until they beat the crap out of each other and decide having a nice cup of tea would be a lot less stressful.
Cups of tea are ten a penny, but there’s no price you can put on the guy who got you hooked on hard narcotics. Blake could have gotten Amy hooked on anything – Pop Tarts, those little penny sweets they used to sell in Woolies - but no, he chose something 50% less tasty and 100% more illegal.
According to the rumours, Amy went against the grain and proposed. Her ex-husband is reported to have slurred something that sounded like the word “Yes”, and they may be married in three months time.
From The News of the World:
Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil are planning to marry again – in just three months’ time. The troubled singer proposed to her ex-hubby and he said Yes! Yes! Yes! Blake told a close pal: “We both know we’ve only ever been divorced on paper. This is the right thing to do.”
You’ll understand then why we think it’s a bloomin’ awful idea for these two train wrecks to get back together. The only thing that could possibly be worse, or result in the world coming to a calamitous end a little faster, is the return of Jedward to X Factor. It sends shivers down our spines just to think about it, but we really do need to impress upon you the gravity of this potential marriage of one waster to another.
[There were pictures showing] Amy, 26, flashing a sparkler on her engagement finger on Friday night. Ex-druggie Blake celebrated with a friend over a beer in Sheffield – where he is being forced to attend a rehab centre. He told the pal: “It’s the engagement ring I gave Amy the first time. I think it cost £2,000 from Tiffany. We’ve been talking on the phone five or six times a day. On Friday she told me she was going to put the engagement ring on. We’d changed our status to married on Facebook a couple of weeks back but that was more of a laugh. This is the real deal.”
This was a guest blog by Amy Grindhouse, whose loveliness you won’t need to be reminded of.
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