Hey kids, remember back in school when your teacher told you to study hard and reap the rewards?
Well you can pretty much forget that now. Now that we think about it, you can pretty much knock over our desks, pull down our trousers and eat crisp sandwiches for eternity. You see, Amy Winehouse’s dad Mitch wants to dish out batches of mind-numbing heroin to us. Hooray.
Traditionally, the only freebies that you’ll get are from Santa, each other, or – if you’re a work shy freeloader – decades of free living at home. Now we don’t know if Mitch Winehouse is going to ride a sledge like Santa while he hands out his free heroin, but it would be amusing to see Amy Winehouse being mushed along. It would beat a trip to the NHS and being greeted by its moody workers, anyway.
Somehow, Mitch Winehouse has managed to make himself semi-famous for being the father of musical wreck Amy Winehouse. Whenever the press accuses her of being off her nut on drugs, in comes big Mitch to do his best Phil Mitchell impression and call everyone a liar.
During her wonky appearance on Strictly Some Dancing recently, Amy Winehouse did seem to be in a better picture of health. Experts praised her decision to leave Blaaaaake, who was supposedly named as the main reason behind her drugged-up lifestyle. Oh, and her boobs apparently exploded afterwards as well. Like an overfilled balloon, they just popped with fluid seeping everywhere.
Now we don’t know if this is just a crap plug based on his addict daughter’s history, but old Mitch here thinks that anyone who is on heroin should get it for free on the NHS. Mitch is currently doing a documentary on the subject of drugs and visited Switzerland where they currently dish out the drug. He told The Sun:
“They have been prescribing heroin to their addicts for the past 15 years. You can argue that you are rewarding them by giving them heroin for free. But it helps stabilise and maintain them, giving them time to recover. While that’s going on, our communities are safer. They are suffering less. They aren’t being vandalised, robbed and burgled.”
Mitch probably doesn’t realise that the UK has lots of rehab centres and clinics for addicts to kick their habits. Instead of encouraging people to poison their veins with muck that’s cooked up in someone’s shed, the government prefers to get folk clean and back in to work. So quite likely, there won’t be a heroin man driving round in a van with jingly jangly music for people to chase after.
Honestly, why do so called famous folk think they can do stuff when they have power? It’s like asking Bono to save the world or Kate Moss to design clothes for girls.
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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
“Mitch probably doesn’t realise that the UK has lots of rehab centres and clinics for addicts to kick their habits…”
The inquiry that Mitch was giving evidence to also heard that while there are treatment centres in the UK it takes up to a year to get on them, unless you’re rich and can afford to go private. Seems like this “no-nothing” pseudo-famous man knows perhaps more than the author?
Also, Mitch wants to give heroin to existing addicts, so they may still be wasters but at least they won’t be mugging old ladies for a fix.
Sorry if I’ve had a sense-of-humour failure and missed the point, but I wasn’t expecting full-scale Daily Mail-puritanism to come from a hecklerspray writer…
Mark you are completely off your nutter
(pardon the all caps, I’m furious at the level of ignorance)
NHS IS RATIONING CANCER DRUGS, SCREENING AND OPERATIONS.
IT’S A FACT!
TREATABLE CANCERS IN THE UK ARE GO UNTREATED- PEOPLE ARE DYING, AND YOU LIKE AN IDIOT IS CRYING ABOUT “PURITANISM”
REALITY = WHO IS GOING TO PAY FOR FREE HERION?????
DO YOU NOT REALIZE WHAT A FOOL YOU SOUND LIKE???
This is one instance with “puritanism” is quite justified.
Halo, you fucking idiot, do you have the remotest clue how much opiates cost the NHS? Enough morphine sulphate to kill you stone fucking dead, or keep a junkie happy all day, costs less than a pound. Drugs are expensive because they are illegal. Legally available heroin would give you a net benefit, as the drugs currently used to treat addicts are considerably more expensive than generic diamorphine (leaving aside the benefits of no longer having to have the police chase around after petty criminals feeding their habits, bust dealers, etc.). Fuck, just sell ‘em it for cost.
Legal heroin would fuck the Afghan warlords over something awful, if you want another reason to do it. Fairtrade cocaine would do similar things to the shitbags who run most of South America while we’re at it.
I can buy chemicals legally that will get me FAR more fucked up than most street-quality illegal ones for around a tenner a gram (google ‘methcathinone’ if you don’t believe me), so why not just let people have what they want?
Puritanism is rarely, if ever, justified. Neither is all caps.
Is it too much to hope that the heroin and euthanasia clinics are adjacent, leading to no end of hijinks for Mitch and co?
“This is my boss. Johannathan Hart, A self-made euthansia millionaire – he’s quite a guy. This is Mrs. H. She’s gorgeous. She’s one lady who knows how to take care of herself (and heroin addicts). By the way my name is Mitch. I take care of both of them. Which ain’t easy:
Cause when they met it was (legally defined as no longer) moider.
C’mon Threeway!”
Gilbert
I think you have watched too many bad boy hoodie movies.
Its okay though its either that or your own drug use has seriously impaired your thinking.
So why don’t you volunteer, you know pick up a junkie buy him some heroin?
Oh right, of course YOU WOULDN’T. So NHS should pick up the tab? And yet it is exactly the same bloody thing. Why should anyone have to pay for someone’s habit? Oh they already do you say, but Methadone is not enough and it has to be in fact the real stuff.
If one chooses to ignore the base of the argument (ie who is in fact going to pay??) well I’m sorry I refuse to argue with a fool.
I’m not talking about Afghan warlords. There are some drugs that should be legalized. Heroin is NOT one of them.
But you make the point for me, why not just give the junkies the fake better stuff than methadone?