American Idol Wants You To Write It A Song
August 8th, 2006 at 15:00 by Stuart Heritage
We knew it'd happen before long; there have now been so many winners of televised singing contests that the world has run out of keychange-stuffed, lowest common denominator ballads with blandly motivational titles for them to sing.
That's why - in an alarming allowance of creativity - the new series of American Idol will feature a songwriting competition to find original songs for the winners to release as singles. If only we had this news a few months ago, our song I'm A Twitchy Prematurely Ageing Redneck (And I Just Don't Care) would have been perfect for Taylor Hicks.
One of the things that consistently disappoints about shows like X Factor and American Idol - apart from the whole terrifying cynicism of them all, the way they've reduced music to a meaningless commodity and Simon Cowell's dreadful hair - is the quality of songs that are given to the winning singers.
Without fail they're all unimaginative populist mush designed to appeal to the sort of cowlike masses who've already spent all their pocket money voting on the show, songs that plagarise old favourites just enough to sound familiar but not enough to hand over songwriting royalties and then given a title that references the journey the contestant has been on. Shayne Ward had That's My Goal, Taylor Hicks had Do I Make You Proud, and the songwriters know they don't have to try too hard because the songs will sell a bucketload anyway.
But now American Idol has decided to do something about it. According to frightening American Idol overlord Simon Fuller, starting from next season, American Idol will allow professional and amateur songwriters to compete to write songs for the finalists. The idea is that the American Idol songwriting competition will give singers songs that better fit their singing style, and hopefully prolong the winner's career for more than one big single, two mediocre follow-up singles and then the resumption of their job stacking shelves in Superdrug.
There are no details on how to apply to the American Idol songwriting competition as yet, but we've decided to launch our very own sub-competition - if you manage to write a song with the words 'Sugar Tits' in the title, and it gets performed on American Idol, we'll send you a KitKat or something. You lucky dogs.
Read more:
American Idol To Add Songwriters - Newsday
[story by Stuart Heritage]
Related and recent:
- hecklerspray Hero Of The Week - Taylor Hicks
- Google Idol - Be Simon Cowell Right Now
- Taylor Hicks Is The New, Twitchy American Idol
- Red Hot Newsflash: Paula Abdul Doesn’t Make Much Sense
- America Goes Eurovision For Some Reason
- Taylor Hicks To Release Doobie Brothers Single
- X Factor Betting Odds: Taylor Hicks To Judge?
- Paula Abdul Skips American Idol To Giggle And Be Vague
August 17th, 2006 at 9:49 pm
Sugar tits
Oh, sugar sugar tits
I hate the fucking Jews
And you got me wanting you
August 27th, 2006 at 8:37 pm
I am a serious Song Writer. I have been writing Songs for 29 years. I must be in this competion.
Title: “It’s all over now”
Verse:
You said you’d never hurt me,
But, I guess you lied.
Although, I love you girl,
We’re gonna have ta say good-bye.
Chorus:
It’s all over now,
It’s time for the tears to fall.
Some people say that a man can’t cry,
But, I guess I’ve proven them wrong.
It’s all over now,
It’s time to let you go.
Some people say that a man can’t cry,
Now the truth is known.
Ooh…oooh..ooh…ooh
Verse:
You said you’d never hurt me,
When I gave my heart to you.
You swore by the stars that you love’d me,
We’d make all our dreams come true.
Every day I think of you,
I remember that look in you eye.
But, as I sit here all alone,
I just can’t help, but, cry.
Chorus:
It’s all over now,
It’s time for the tears to fall.
Some people say that a man can’t cry,
But, I guess I’ve proven them wrong.
It’s all over now,
It’s time to let you go.
Some people say that a man can’t cry,
Now the truth is known.
Ooh…oooh..ooh…ooh
Verse:
You said you’d never hurt me,
And you don’t know what you did.
Though, I gave you my heart,
All I have to say is…
Chorus:
It’s all over now,
It’s time for the tears to fall.
Some people say that a man can’t cry,
But, I guess I’ve proven them wrong.
It’s all over now,
It’s time to let you go.
Some people say that a man can’t cry,
Now the truth is known.
Ooh…oooh..ooh…ooh
Ooooohh……..