American Idol is really hotting up at the moment, what with all that singing and crying and blah blah blah.
But the big question is, who’s going to win? It’d be sensible to ask the American Idol judges. But who? Not Simon because his teeth might burn a hole into your retinas. Not Paula because you’d want a legible answer and not the new judge because she looks so much like the photographer from Just Shoot Me that it honestly freaks us out.
So that leaves Randy Jackson. And he says a boy will win American Idol. So that’s that.
This week’s American Idol has been real edge-of-your-seat stuff, hasn’t it? Seriously, wow. Getting to see which singers we’re allowed to forget about instantly and getting to see which singers we can forget about in a month when they’re inevitably voted off – with the glimmer of a chance that we won’t be allowed to forget about one of them until precisely three seconds after their debut inspirational power-ballad single is released – is absolutely entertainment at it’s best. Also, we have pathetically low standards.
But you know what? All we want to do is to skip forward a bunch of months and discover who the winner of American Idol will be. This is down to our enormous impatience as human beings as well as our deep – yet entirely rational – phobia of useless Whitney Houston covers.
Luckily for us, AOL is just as intolerant of American Idol as we are, so it’s gone straight to the source to find out who’ll win. Well, not the source as such – it went to Randy Jackson, the judge who looks as though he knows slightly less about American Idol as the rest of us but is still really excited by it nevertheless.
And guess what? Randy Jackson seems certain that a boy will win this year’s American Idol:
“I just think for some reason this year…the boys are just on a whole ‘nother level. I mean, there are some great girls as well. I’ve been saying it ? I said it before them [Simon and Paula], and you can quote me… These kids are different than any other season we’ve had, and I think that these boys are some of the most talented we’ve ever had.”
And, of course, one of the boys that Randy Jackson is probably referring to is Danny Gokey – the American Idol contestant who has the bland looks, tragic emotional background and instant forgetability of a winner. Honestly, the American Idol producers want Danny Gokey to win so much that they’re a whisker away from showing footage of him healing the blind with the power of his touch alone.
Anyway, it’s a gamble for Randy Jackson to bet on a boy to win American Idol so early – in the past girls have won the most seasons of American Idol, followed by boys and then Taylor Hicks who, as everybody knows, is an asexual cartoon gold prospector from the 1850s.
Tina Nanez says
I may have to agree w/ Randy. However, Alexis Grace stepped up to the plate last night!
Gibbo says
The gal from Memphis did a great job, as did, sadly, Mr Weepy McDeadwife.
Disappointed, frankly, by this year’s paucity of “Dawgs” from Randy. And they obviously still need to ramp up Paula’s i.v. hallucinogens to the full whacked out state, when she starts imagining people have sung who really haven’t.
coffee says
Danny Gokey will win the whole thing, bet you 10 bucks
smileychic says
I think that adam lambert is giong to win!!!! The kris will be in second place!!! Then danny will be in third!!!!! Matt is going home tonight and allison is going home next week!!! the your three finalist!!!!
PEACE MATT AND ALICE!!!! =D
smileychic says
HE AINT I AM GOING TO GET THAT BUCKS CAUSE ADAM LAMBERT IS AWESOME!!!!! SOOOOO HA HA HA HA HA HA HA