Guess what we just heard – Adam Lambert isn’t the only contestant on American Idol. Isn’t that bizarre?

Bizarre but apparently true. One of the other American Idol contestants is a man called something like Michael Sarver. Or rather, he was a contestant – last night Michael Sarver was booted off American Idol, either for being bad at singing or for being ginger and a bit fat.

Ah, Michael Sarver. We hardly knew ye. True, that was a conscious decision on our part based on your basic inability to sing songs and your weird appearance – but take what you can get, fatty.