Well well, maybe that American Idol Judge’s Save gimmick wasn’t as hopelessly poo-headed as we all thought.

Just look at Matt Giraud. Everyone figured that, after his save last week, he’d be kicked off American Idol last night. But no. Instead Matt Giraud remains on American Idol, while Lil Rounds and Anoop Desai got booted.

So does this mean that Matt Giraud will win American Idol? No, it means that he’s slightly better at singing than Anoop Desai and Lil Rounds. But we know rape alarms that are better at singing than Lil Rounds and Anoop Desai, so whoopty bloody doo.

It’s been a long time coming – so long, in fact, that we’ve already formed entirely fictitious memories of how perfect life was back in the early stages of the season – but American Idol has finally revealed its top five contestants. And it’s with some degree of authority that we can declare that this year’s American Idol will be won by either Adam Lambert, Dead Wife Bloke, That Other Man, A Woman or Whichever One We’ve Missed Out.

And, whatever you think of American Idol, you’ve got to hand it to the show – that sure is one talented bunch of people who’d largely go unrecognised in the street.

However, although we’re thrilled that it won’t be long before everyone gets to stop pretending that Adam Lambert isn’t very obviously going to win American Idol, we’re a little sad that Lil Rounds and Anoop Desai were kicked off American Idol in a double elimination last night. A little sad, mind you. Maybe sad is the wrong word. We noticed that Lil Rounds and Anoop Desai were kicked off American Idol last night. There, that’s better. Reuters reports:

Rounds, who sang “I’m Every Woman,” and Desai, who performed “Dim All the Lights,” had both faced elimination in recent weeks by repeatedly placing among the bottom vote-getters, and both seemed resigned to their fates. “I’m still really disappointed,” Desai, of Chapel Hill, North Carolina, said during the program. “I’m coming home,” added Rounds, addressing her husband and three children.

The elimination won’t have come as a surprise to Lil Rounds, who’s been informed week after week that she’s a terrible singer, but Anoop Desai really put the effort in for this week’s American Idol. By which we mean that he didn’t shave for a couple of days. You know, like George Michael. Or that homeless man who threw a bottle at us when we caught him going through our bins the other day. He deserved more.

But although it’s the end of American Idol for Lil Rounds and Anoop Desai, they can still return home with their heads held high. After all, not all of us can say that our life peaked during a two-month period of time when a smug British man with bad hair and granny teeth consistently mocked our lack of ability and stage presence in front of an audience of millions, can we? No. Not all of us can say that.

You! Follow hecklerspray on Twitter!