If there is one thing we love to do when we're not educating the world with our blogging genius it's to scrutinise the clothing of young, impressionable children. We've helped many a toddler ditch their sweatpants and generic Gap onesies for the latest Juicy Couture velour tracksuit and taught them which colours are the most forgiving when trying to hide the chub.
Thankfully, the soul-sucking money grubbers producers of American Idol are opening new realms of fashion by launching a clothing line for kids based on the fashion trademarks of the contestants. Personally, we're hoping there are items inspired by the judges as well. You know, a nice muscle t-shirt which is apparently to be worn by a person who has no muscle and comes with optional built-in man bosoms for the less-busty boy. Then the lad can sit at his desk with his arms crossed emphasising said bosoms and refer to his teacher as 'the absolute worst educator ever'??.
American Idol. Those two words strike us with more loathing and dry-heaving than pretty much any others possibly could. And it's not going away, people. We keep praying that a cosmic event will somehow localise on the entire production and wipe it from the earth without so much as one of Paula Abdul's talon-like nails left behind to vouch for its existence. But alas, we are forced to watch American Idol refuse to be contained within the confines of the Fox Network and spread into our consumer products.
Lyrix by Lyric Culture will launch a line of girls and junior girls sized clothes early next year that will be 'lyric-inspired' apparel. No, really. Lyric inspired. Looks like people are just making concepts and stuff up now. Regardless, here's what Hanna Rochelle Schmieder, President of Lyric Jeans, had to say:
"'American Idol' is the most powerful and iconic music brand in popular culture today and the perfect tie-in for our creative concept. We couldn't have dreamt of a better partner. Now music and fashion lovers everywhere can feel like a pop star and express themselves through our lyric-driven lifestyle brand."
If kids really want to feel like popstars they should practise not writing their own songs and running offstage when the tape they're lip-syncing to skips in the middle of a performance. Anyway, each clothes item will have one of the most popular song titles or lyrics from the show visibly displayed on it. We're not sure if we're more excited about purchasing a pair of goucho pants honouring Clay Aiken's Build Me Up Buttercup, or a shirt with William Hung's picture with the caption She Bangs, She Bangs on it. Yeah, that'll help us express ourselves for sure.
Okay, so there are a lot of worse things in the world than integrating bejewelled low-rider jeans and low cut halter tanks into our children's wardrobes. We're just concerned about which lyrics will inspire the clothing. For example, "How'd you get all that in dem jeans" and "Tequila makes her clothes fall off" may not be the message children should be portraying. Just an idea.
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Jodie says
Got to love idol, even downunder
Visit our last years third place Dean Geyer..
A star in the making
http://www.deangeyer.com
Luv
Jodie
John says
Dean Geyer is shit