Originally set to be tried by Judge Judy, Amanda Bynes’ drunk driving case is being moved to the mental health court, either because she is actually too nuts to “understand the nature of the legal proceedings” or has been pretending to be nuts well enough for her lawyer to use it as her defense.
I don’t know if I buy it though. She seems more dumb than crazy (who throws a vase out a 36th floor window?), so maybe she’s just been putting on a show at the behest of her lawyer, whose line of thinking is probably, “No one will believe any one person can be stupid! We’ll play the crazy card.”
Seriously though… she might be that stupid. Let’s review:
- Over the course of like, half a year, she had three driving related arrests, one of which was a hit and run that she paid the family to make go away. (Women drivers, amirite?!)
- Earlier this year, she was arrested for possession of pot and throwing a bong (or vase, whichever) out her apartment window. Because the police played right into Bynes’ and her lawyer’s hands, they assumed she simply couldn’t be dumb enough to confuse a bong with a vase and had a shrink evaluate her. Later, Bynes accused the arresting office of “slapping her vagina” (unce unce).
- Two months ago she channelled her inner pyro by setting fire to some random person’s driveway and tried to run away before being arrested by police who followed the scent of smoke and weed. (She was probably just getting some s’mores ready — police are always blowing everything out of proportion.)
I like to think this is all just one big performance art act, like maybe she saw that Joaquin Phoenix documentary where he decides to quit acting and become a rapper and be really weird, but she didn’t realize it was a hoax and wanted to one-up him. Or maybe one of her friends dared her to see how many minor felonies she can commit over the course of a year-and-a-half? (Hint: a lot)
Either way, she either needs to bow out or step it up. Maybe she can burn down whatever psych ward she’s bound to end up in.