All The Encouragement You’ll Ever Need To Make Children Learn

Here at hecklerspray, we know the importance of a semi-decent education. Look at where it got us! And yet in America things get taken so much more seriously.

In America, you see, when kids fuck up their exams, they get loaded into a van at midnight and taken to camp. Here, the dim-witted bunch of misfits get reminded of their lack of intelligence by spending the summer re-learning what they don’t know. You’d think there would only be camps for kids who don’t know the difference between subtracting and multiplying, but no. We’ve discovered that there are some places that want to convert little children to the good book. And we don’t mean Harry Potter.

All across America, Jesus camps are springing up to get kids to, er… convert to the name of our saviour. Will there be Jesus juice involved? Well, we’re not too sure and to be brutally honest, we don’t want to know. Despite trying to be loving and caring, these Jesus camps look quite evil as they go about telling us how wrong we generally are about everything. Which, to be fair, does apply to most of the hecklerspray writers. 

So for any parents in America, you have the perfect ammunition to bribe little Jimmy or Claire into not bunking off school and actually attending class. Do you want them to be brainwashed by some happy clappy Christian group/cult? Well, show them this trailer as a taster for a potential summer of bible bashing fun. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.