There is a film currently in pre-production that has got the attention of the cream of Hollywood. Mel Gibson, John Travolta, Tommy Lee-Jones, Kevin Costner, Catherine Zeta Jones, Reese Witherspoon, Demi Moore, Jennifer Lopez, Jessica Simpson, Owen Wilson, Lindsay Lohan and Drew Barrymore are all apparently scrapping it out to prove that they deserve a place in this epic movie.
What could this film be? A historical blockbuster set in Roman times? A remake of Citizen Kane? Maybe a serious, thought-provoking ensemble drama like Crash?
Wrong wrong wrong. They’re all desperate to star in a remake of Dallas. Dallas, for Christ’s sake.
The world needs a remake of Dallas (DVDs) like it needs the moon to fall
out of the sky. The original series – which ran from 1978 to 1991 – was
one of the most needlessly stupid and over-dramatic TV shows ever made.
Dallas highlights included the interminable "Who shot JR?" fiasco,
an entire season being written off as a bad dream, and the most preposterous
ending of a TV show ever, when an angel showed JR what life would have
been like if he had never been born, only to turn into a scary devil at
the last minute, making JR kill himself.
And Hollywood is going to try and make a film out of that. A serious film.
You’d have thought that Dallas would be the TV series ripest for a
Starsky And Hutch-style Hollywood spoofing, but you’d be wrong. David Jacobs,
creator of Dallas, has been quoted as saying that the movie "has to
have all the fun of Dallas, all the mordacity of Dallas but it has to
take itself seriously."
Early plot details suggest that the movie will be set in the modern
day, with JR as the head of the world’s largest energy corporation.
Chances are there’ll be some kind of Enron-style shenanigans going on.
There’s no word on a release date for Dallas yet, so we’ll have to wait and see just how mind-numbing it turns out to be.
Read more:
Costner And Gibson Gear Up For JR Ewing Battle – Contactmusic
[story by Stuart Heritage]
Dawn says
I just heard today that:
Travolta – JR
Lopez – Sue Ellen
Luke Wilson – Bobby
Marcia Cross – Pam
Jessica Simpson – Lucy
Bad cast, bad show
ashley says
Jessica Simpson will ruin this movie like she did Dukes of Hazard
how about:
vince vaughn as ray
scarlett johnanson as lucy
catherine zeta jones as pam
marica cross as a better sue ellen
john travolta as JR (but be careful with him)
Luke Wilson as Bobby
and remember dont use jessica simpson…she will ruin it!
sabrina olson says
This would be great if:
BILLY BOB THORTON FOR JR. or
VAL KILMER as JR AND
Val kilmers’ real life ex wife as SUE ELLEN…..
UM… DEFINATELY SAM ELLIOTT AS JOCK.
PAMELA EWING:: maybe SUSAN SURRANDON IF SHE CAN LOOK YOUNG ENOUGH BOBBY EWING::: Some unknown nice/football ex star
MARYANNE says
the best person to play jock would be JAMES BROLIN – he is almost a twin to the original Jock. not Burt Reynolds for God’s sake.