The world today is rife with conspiracy theories like never before. There are people out there who believe 9/11 was an inside job. There are people who believe the moon landing was staged.
There are people who think Jay-Z is profiting from the African slave trade. Lily Allen’s Dad believes Princess Diana was murdered and one guy hecklerspray knows thinks badgers are actually midgets crawling around the woods in costume.
And now Alicia Keys says Gangsta Rap was created by the government and the media in an effort to get influential black people to kill each other, so they don’t have to.
Ms Keys told Blender magazine:
“‘Gangsta rap’ was a ploy to convince black people to kill each other, ‘Gangsta rap’ didn’t exist.”
She also claims that the murders of Tupac Shakur and Notorious B.I.G, back in September 1996 and March 1997 respectively, were fueled by “the government and the media, to stop another great black leader from existing“.
Hecklerspray would like to remind readers that we didn’t even exist back then, so our conscience is clean.
Or Is it? Maybe we did exist, but were operating on an invisible level. Maybe we were posting anti-2Pac and Biggie articles in a font that could only be read by rich, white people? Can you prove it otherwise? You can’t, can you? You’ll just have to take our word for it (mwa-ha-ha!).
Alicia also explained the reasons she wears a gold AK-47 pendent around her neck. It is because it “symbolize strength, power and killing them dead”. For some reason she doesn’t go on to say exactly who ‘them’ are. Wait a minute…maybe she’s referring to us; the hecklerspray folk; readers, writers and all?
Think about it; have you ever heard Alicia Keys say she likes hecklerspray before? Have you ever heard Alicia Keys say she likes you before? In fact, we don’t believe Alicia has ever expressed any love for our people. This is getting spooky – does Alicia Keys want to kill us dead?
Just to be safe, let’s all stay away from Alicia Keys and her music until the day she pledges allegiance to the hecklerflag. Get yourself a gold hecklerspray pendant of Stuart Heritage’s face, hang it round your neck and tell people it “symbolizes strength, power, weekly stories about Lindsay Lohan’s tits, the avoidance of Alicia Keys and killing ‘em dead with our superb use of cruel/witty reporting”.
But even that has its risks. Why should we trust you lot? You’ve no doubt got an alternative agenda like everyone else. Probably best everyone just stays at home with their families.
But what if it turns out all our parents have been nurturing us all these years into becoming cash cows to fund their early retirement? Ok, so we all go home but we are to stay in our rooms, alone, only leaving at allotted times to get food from the kitchen and use the bathroom.
But what if our personality splits into two while we’re alone? Maybe one half of us will want the other half dead? In which case, the half that doesn’t want us dead has no choice but to saw itself free from the other half. This will leave us all dead, but we will at least be safe.
Ah, screw all that – let’s all have a cuddle!
Alicia says that, in the future, she wants to write more political songs and feels that if black leaders like late Black Panther Huey Newton “had the outlets our musicians have today, it’d be global. I have to figure out a way to do it myself”.
Hang on a minute…What if Alicia Keys is merely a creation of the government and media, a singing hologram used to bore people into submission, leaving us feeling powerless against the rise of the New World Order?
What if…What if…What if she’s right?
Harry says
Years ago we used to pick and choose our conspiracy theories carefully, accepting only those that were meticulously documented, and that referenced only the most obviously heinous cabals. We resent it when more inexperienced paranoids muscle in on our territory, proving undeniably and to our horror that the Pope is anti-Catholic, or that the United States is preparing to detach North America from the earth and fly it to Sirius B in order to re-establish slavery and the lovely Belle-Époch popular songs. No, this is going too far, and clearly not all conspiracies should be exposed. Horrifying.
Ty says
Lets see, whites cant claim fame to RAP music because it was created by blacks but somehow they swayed blacks to write RAP to convince blacks to kill each other? The same way whites sway too many blacks to still call each other ******** Hmmm…. Isnt it interseting that for the first time in our history, a black man may be our next president. Black Americans enjoy through sports, media and education great success. Have access to and enjoy the American dream as freely as any other racial group in America. And yet oppression and the past is all they can wink at? And for some, instead of praising America for her greatness they jump to anti-American themes and hatred, calling for her condemnation, all in the name of Christ (Rev. Wright). Using the gospel ( a message of redemtion and the unity of mankind) as a means to spew hatred and division? Im glad she opened her stupid mouth to let me see what was inside. Im glad they all are talking out load. Her music will be in tonights trash. As will my vote for Obama. And every dollar spent towards black entertainment and empowerment withheld. BLACK RACISM IS PLANTING THE SEEDS OF THEIR DESTRUCTION. To the extent that all one has to consider is that the only true civil rights activists have been and are white. And they are being left out in the cold. Go figure.
Daddy or Chips says
Sigh. The only thing this proves is that (yet again) pop stars have brains the size of peas.
El Jefe says
Uhhh … Is she black?
No, seriously … Clearly she’s an idiot, but is she black?
Fuck You says
Another full-of-shit musician thinking they are more important than they are.
gir says
“Im glad she opened her stupid mouth to let me see what was inside. Im glad they all are talking out load. Her music will be in tonights trash. As will my vote for Obama. And every dollar spent towards black entertainment and empowerment withheld. BLACK RACISM IS PLANTING THE SEEDS OF THEIR DESTRUCTION. To the extent that all one has to consider is that the only true civil rights activists have been and are white.”
You can’t fucking buy insanity like this. Insanity like this is bred. Between a brother and a sister, for example.
IronEddie says
Alicia Keys is such a whiney bitch. She should damn well remember that it was the white fans and the support of white-owned media that got her where she is. Ungrateful bitch.
@El Jefe: Yeah, she’s black. Are you blind or sumthin?
euclid says
I dunno, IE, when someone’s that fucking stupid
it kind of transcends race or gender. Obliterates it more like.
Maybe with global warming we can try the whole Aussie
experiment again, except instead of Criminals, this time we ship
Morons to Greenland.
…ok… peace!
IronEddie says
@euclid: I don’t wanna spark any racial discussions here, but she(and most other black artists) is clearly *paranoid and racist* towards whites and by *killing them dead* we know what she means. I really pity the dimwitted people who’ve spent a penny on her crappy music.
somebody's headache but i dont care says
The comments on this thread is a prime example of what Alicia meant. when the media spits out negativity and pours grease on tiny fires the readers are consumed by it and before you know it you have a message board full of hateful comments. Back then there weren’t many message boards to make opions on but people tend to beleiev everything the way the media puts it out there. She’s saying that the media can make situations appear worse than they really are. The media called rap “Gansta” and this implied that gansters and violent individuals wrote and performed rap. Its sad but true that sometimes because people are more willing to listen to and buy garbage from the media that’s all they want to talk about( the media). Tupac and Biggie had personal problems with one another, but the way it was expolited and made into an entire attack on rap and the black community was uncalled for and helped fuel the hatred. Not everything the media reports is true and many times is taken out of context. the main reason is because people interpret what is said how they see it but that doesnt make it real or a fact. So allow the woman to feel how she feels about that situation, it doesn’t mean she’s a bad person. As far as the government is concerned there’s lots of work that needs to be done with it. Yes things are better but sometimes it takes criticism and disagreements like this to bring forth change. These artist aren’t paranoid or racist, they are human and have the right to speak out on anything they feel is an injustice. Rap used to be looked down upon and it was mainly because of how it was portrayed during the Tupac and Biggie ordeal, now its more accepted. I think what she was trying to say was misunderstood.
What a waste of webspace says
You’ve only got to look at how this story starts…
“The world today is rife with conspiracy theories like never before. There are people out there who believe 9/11 was an inside job. There are people who believe the moon landing was staged.”
Firstly you can’t even compare the two conspiracies. The moon landing probably wasn’t a hoax was it? I think everyone knows 911 was very very strange no matter who you are pointing the finger at. Never a good way way to start a topic. Not impressed.
Anywayz… now there’s some bullshit about a halfcast (maybe racist) singer who by the way is very talented, says some crap about gangsta rap being made to get blacks to kill blacks etc. Black people have always killed each other, so have whites. Look at our global problem and its obviously related to gangsta rap. White kids in London speak and act like black people. Gang culture in some places is just about being cool / dangerous and stupid, has no real foundations or politics.
The majority or stabbings in London against white people are by blacks? Now stop there, I’m not racist – it’s a fact. Why it seems to be black on black and black on white over here I don’t know. Rap culture wriggles our streets today and youths soak it up. Even if you don’t think they are taking in all the rap shit, they are.
I can’t even comment on Alicia’s comment as it’s a typical young and foolish thing to say. If big rappers took it upon themselves to stamp out violence in music then it would help some groups of people for sure. However the US is filled with sex and violence, not much good comes from overseas does it? Like Dr Dre say “I think of murder sales, not sex sales” – good artist, but even a guitar jazzer like me can feel agressive after some Ice Cube, Dre etc – If I was a complete penis I’d proberly listen to it all the time and maybe it’ll lead to someone getting a black eye or modern day stabbing!
You don’t get gangs of agressive metal freaks dressed like weirdos out there “doing dirt” do you.
Rap icons need to use their power to help save the world right now.
Marc Borror says
What a moron. This kind of racist bullshit against whites coming from someone who conveniently seems to ignores her mother’s Italian and Irish heritage.
What a waste of webspace says
Mr Borror, your tiny comment isn’t clear. What has upset you?
Undecider says
Yes, 9-11 was an inside job. Obama is not fully qualified to be president because of his birth status. And yes, the government does get involved in removing political dissidents.
People would be wise to investigate these events.
7th angel says
GOGOGOOG
Brandon says
Okay media got 2pac and biggie killed. Government found no one for either murders. Some say 2 PAC may still be alive he was a very smart rapper. Read about Machiavelli in jail which if anyone knows about him. Also 911 was inside. Has anyone even fuckin seen the video of the twin towers “falling” yes falling no fuckin way a plane hits and the rest of the two buildings just crumble.
O and wait we went to Iran and Afghanistan right after took all the weapons back. Where did the money go for the stuff they bought from us? that which we took right back.. Hmmm bush father had a company about 4 years earlier of 911 which was in Iran. We trained AL quida and yet AL quida knew in which day to hijack for there were 4 other “exercise scenario’s” of plane hijacking. So they did not have any clue which were real. How convenient.
2Bigg says
1 Nigga teach 2 Niggas teach 4 Niggas teach MORE Niggas.
2Bigg says
Oh.I forgot. Fuck Shug Knight!