You, reader, are our family. hecklerspray cares for you like only your parents have until now. If you were thirsty we'd give you drink, if you were baby birds we'd vomit worms in your mouth the way nature likes sometimes.
And if you were an 11-year-old daughter avoiding our calls we'd call you all "pigs" and threaten you straight out. Wait no, no we wouldn't do that. You're all our entire world – we know that now. Alec Baldwin on the other hand, well he would verbally have his way with you.
He told his 11-year-old daughter Ireland she was a "rude, thoughtless pig." That's not a loose allegation on our part – it's based on a weird phone message that's been circulating the net the past day or so. And do you know who has it for you?
We'll answer that after our mouths are done regurgitating your dinner.
Usually when hecklerspray is reporting on Baldwin family affairs, it's of a more uplifting nature, like how one of them once brought Britney Spears back from the brink of relationship devastation, or how one of them once seriously disapproved of Arnold Schwarzenegger's Nazi image. Calm down Peter from down in the comments section.
Today's Baldwin news comes to us in an exciting MP3 format. It's a shocking little piece of an angry father (read Alec Baldwin) berating his 11 year old daughter via voicemail, and it comes in the midst of a nasty custody battle with his wife Kim Basinger. Daddy Baldwin pulls no punches:
"Once again, I have made an ass of myself trying to get to a phone… You have insulted me for the last time! I don't give a damn that you're 12-year-old or 11-year-old, or a child, or that your mother is a thoughtless pain in the ass who doesn't care about what you do as far as I'm concerned… The crap you pull on me with this goddamn phone situation that you would never dream of doing to your mother, and you do it to me constantly over and over again!"
Alec Baldwin added:
"You make me feel like shit!…I'm gonna straighten your ass out! I'm gonna really make sure you get it!…You'd better be ready!"
Now normally after a bizarre over-the-top second quote like that, we'd subtly throw in how we made it up or something. Not this time – it's the real deal! If we were gonna make up a quote today it would have included the word 'cosmonaut'. Yes, we're definitely in a cosmonaut mood today.
Alec Baldwin's camp has fired back about the leaked message. According to TMZ:
"A friend of Alec Baldwin's just contacted TMZ to say that the actor called Ireland last week and apologized for his outburst. The friend added that Ireland is the most important thing in the world to Alec and that he is frustrated because over the last six years, Kim has "tried everything" to alienate Ireland from him."
The friend then added:
"Honestly, nobody's gonna kill anybody. Cosmonaut cosmonaut"
Take a listen to the weird, weird Alec Baldwin message right here. (recording removed for fear of getting our asses straightened out by Alec Baldwin's lawyers)
Read More:
Ruth says
Please, please, please, keep this little girl away from that lunatic. Be afraid Ireland. Once an abuser, always an abuser!
tamara says
shut up you pig
Matt Bregazzi says
Bloody hell.
Euclid says
Ruth is the enabler.
marco says
can you say restraining order?
Nic says
I feel terribly sorry for Alec! GIVE THE GUY A BREAK!!!!
Have you been through a divorce with such a bitch?
have you loved your child more then anything to be constantly ignored by her regardless of the sacrifices you have also made for your offspring.
This man has been pushed to breaking point! Basinger is the problem!!!! what a horrible ex wife not installing the values of family and respecting your elders (let alone parents)
It was clear this is not the first time his daughter has ignored his call. Not to mention the daughter is not 1 she is 11 these days 11 year olds are going on 20…she would be in high school and I’m sure has the brians to process that she is ignoring her own father. His daughter has not answered intentionally to get a raise out of Dad.
She seems to be her mothers daughter. She is a little pig if she can’t even answer one call from her father! I hope he does sort her out before she is as bitter and sour as kim basinger
Nicole
August says
Wow…this man is clearly working against himself.
flierpa says
nicole, sounds like you’re refering to yourself, rather than the kid and basinger. scary to hear someone being that venomous.
Steinlager says
This gets my vote for coolest possible rebuttal from Ireland… nice and simple: DITCHMAILThe Voicemail Solution for Alec Baldwin’s Daughter
Phil says
Past behaviour is future behavior, supervised visitation would keep that girl safe from this (verbal) abusive parent.
All men make babies, but it takes a real man to become a meaningfull parent in a little child’s life.
ObamaHatesWomen says
No wonder Baldwin’s a big Obama fan.
He treats his daughter like Obama treats all women, calling them pigs.