There's little over a week to go until the Live Earth concerts take place – where Snow Patrol will play Chasing Cars over and over again until the Sun vomits down itself, thus cooling the Earth's climate by up to five degrees Celsius.
But some cynics are suggesting that Madonna singing a song about climate change in an energy-gobbling sports stadium full of people who shat out tons of carbon getting there while being broadcast to billions of environment-slaughtering television sets might not be the best way to stop the world from perishing in a whirlwind of fiery terror. And that's why Al Gore has beefed-up Live Earth's credibility by asking everyone to sign a special climate change pledge that will save the planet via the power of woolly-worded vague promises about making the governments of the world do stuff and stuff.
The successes of Live Aid and Live 8 have shown that nothing changes the world like a good old-fashioned concert, and we're slap-bang in the middle of the concertiest summer in living memory. This weekend will see the Princess Diana concert take place, where acts like Rod Stewart and Lily Allen will gather together to try and make Princess Diana rise from the grave, stagger over to Prince Philip and intone the word "you!" in front of a shocked nation. But the real big awareness-raising concert of the summer is Live Earth.
Live Earth, like you don't know, is the time when pop stars shut up about not wiping their bum and recording bad songs in sheds and get together for a series of global concerts that will teach the world that wasting energy is bad, unless you're doing it to raise your profile in an energy-wasting concert that'll make millions of people buy your new album. Or something. Anyway, Live Earth has snagged all the big names, like Damien Rice and Spinal Tap – and not only is Madonna headlining London Live Earth but she's also written a rubbish song that's obliquely about it, too. How many songs have you written about Live Earth? None? Well then that just means that Madonna cares more than you do.
Ever since Al Gore announced the Live Earth concerts, he's been met with a barrage of criticism from people saying that Live Earth is more likely to contribute to climate change than stop it, and that's why Al Gore has decided to take action by calling on everyone around the world to sign a seven-point climate change pledge to promise that they'll actively fight the causes of climate change until they die. Forbes reports:
Al Gore on Thursday called on people around the world to sign a "7 Point Pledge" promising personal action in curbing global warming… Those who sign it promise to pressure their country to sign treaties to cut global warming pollution, personally reduce carbon dioxide pollution, and plant trees, among other things. "Quite a few of the seven points are directly designed to put pressure on governments and on businesses, but do so by asking people around the world to help to focus that pressure," said Gore.
Examples of Al Gore's Live Earth climate change pledge, available from the Live Earth website, include:
- To fight for a moratorium on the construction of any new generating facility that burns coal without the capacity to safely trap and store the CO2;
- To fight for laws and policies that expand the use of renewable energy sources and reduce dependence on oil and coal; and
- To go and live in a fucking cave or something.
It's a nice thought, this Live Earth pledge, but getting the average man on the street to fight for a moratorium on anything seems like a bit of a big ask. Maybe we're wrong, though – maybe climate change is now such a global worry that people will do more than just sign the pledge out of solidarity and then forget all about it. In fact we're going to remain totally carbon neutral for the duration of Live Earth. That means not watching it on the telly, but it's a sacrifice we'll just have to make.